Davy Jones -- 12/30/1945 - 2/29/2012

One of the best things about working in television is that, every now and then, The Blog gets to spend time with people that he admired in his youth. Even better is when the person turns out to be every bit as cool as the young Bloglitt had always hoped.

I had the pleasure of spending a morning with Davy Jones less than a year ago. He was warm, good humored and self-effacing (and yes, short.) He seemed to genuinely appreciate all of the good that had come from his "little bit of fame."  At the end of the day, he made all of us feel like we had made a new old friend.

Mrs. Blog and I got to see Davy perform with The Monkees at The Greek Theater in Los Angeles back in 1986. By some strange stroke of luck, we had front row center seats.  At the time, Mrs. Blog was seven months pregnant with The Blog, Jr. We had been under some stress because we had not felt the little guy (Blog, Jr. not Davy) move in several days. But, when The Monkees took the stage, he began rocking out, letting us know that he was okay. When I met Davy, I told him that story. Davy remembered that show and told me that, two days before that concert, one of his horses had stepped on his foot and he did that show with a broken ankle. (A brief digression, that show was also notable because the famously reclusive and agoraphobic Michael Nesmith joined the rest of the group for the encore.) We have seen them perform several times since then. Most recently, once again at The Greek, just last fall. Davy was scheduled to perform his solo act in nearby La Mirada a couple of weeks from now.

My condolences go out to his daughters and his lovely wife, Jessica.

Rest in peace, Davy. There is an empty space in the world now, and it is much larger than your 5'3" frame. You will be greatly missed.

Of Presidents and Gas Prices

The ignorant idiot that put the above Post-It™ note on this gas pump is, in fact, an ignorant idiot. My right-wing friends that have shared this photo on Facebook are more ignorant and bigger idiots.

The Blog remembers well the year 2000. He was paying $1.20 at the pump for gas. At Costco, which was a bit cheaper than anywhere else. And The Blog bitched about it, loudly. ( A digression... When The Blog got his driver's license in 1976, gas was $0.68 a gallon. And he remembers when gas was less than 30¢ a gallon.) In the months leading up to the 2008 election, he was paying in the neighborhood of $4.75 a gallon. Still, at Costco. During the next few years, (during the Obama administration) gas prices varied between $2.00 and about $3.95 a gallon. Today, The Blog filled up at Costco for $4.19 a gallon. Too damned high, it's true. But, lower that October, 2008's $4.75.

Pop quiz, hotshots....  If the president had any control at all over gas prices, wouldn't those prices go down during election years, rather than being at their highest points?

Fun Fact.... Oil prices are set by OPEC. An organization that the U.S. is not a part of.  The only way that the president could control gas prices would be to nationalize (or, you know, socialize) America's oil companies. If that is what you Republicans want, I suppose that it could be done.

Fun Fact #2... All oil pumped out of the good ole U.S of A goes on the world market, along with everyone else's. The same would be true if we went ahead with the odious Keystone XL pipeline. U.S. gas prices are, essentially, dictated by Wall Street speculators. People who would, as we know, benefit from Republican economic policies. That, my friends, is how the oil industry works.

Hablo inglés: Part Deux.

Once more. Really? You committed to putting this on a sign and waving it around? In The Blog's humble opinion, you are "offically" a "moran."

Hablo inglés

The above photo has gotten The Blog thinking about the subject of language. Specifically, the notion that anyone that lives in The U.S. should be obligated to learn to speak English and the political football that has been passed for years about whether the English language should be made "The Official Language of The United States of America!"

To get this post rolling, let's start with a story recently recounted by an FOTB (friend of The Blog,) whose thoughts and opinions, The Blog has great respect for......

I visited my dad in Texas a few years ago. There are a lot of Mexicans there. I went into a grocery store and everyone in there was speaking Spanish. I tried asking about something in the store and get directions. I couldn't understand anything. I left without buying anything and had to go down the road to get directions. Sad, when I am in my own country and can't understand enough to make a purchase.

I think that my friend and I agree (Yes, The Blog is stepping into the first person, because The Blog is starting to irritate The Blog's self) that from a business perspective, it is a good idea to be able to speak English in America. We also agree that there are a lot of Mexicans in Texas. This stands to reason because, immigration (legal or otherwise) not withstanding, Texas was once a part of Mexico.  But, I notice that my friend did not say that the people in the store couldn't understand him, but rather he could not understand them. So, was this a language barrier or an accent barrier? I don't know. I wasn't there. But, I do know that I have on many occasions, called the customer service centers of a number of American based companies, (and in one notable case, the call center for an agency of The State of California) and tried to communicate with people in India, Asia and the Ukraine who understood me perfectly, but whose accents were so thick that they brought me to the point of tears of frustration.

*** A modest proposal*** If we are going to require everyone in America to understand and speak clear English, we should also require all American corporations and government agencies to keep their call centers in the United States. Where they can, you know, provide jobs for Americans.

The argument for making English the official language of the U.S. seems to center around people whose native language is Spanish. Thanks to today's far-right, that means Mexicans, as indicated by the obviously highly educated sign barer in the photo above.  But, growing up in Northeast Ohio so many years ago, the same "problem" was about Puerto Ricans. During my time spent in Florida, Cuban Spanish was the "problem."

But, let's be clear. Dozens, if not hundreds of languages are spoken in neighborhoods and suburbs all over America. Here in the Greater Los Angeles area, Hebrew, Korean, Vietnamese,  Japanese,  Russian, Ukrainian, Ethiopian, Portuguese, several versions of Chinese and yes, Spanish are the primary languages spoken in households and neighborhoods here. And, as a result, many businesses that cater to those who speak those languages in those neighborhoods speak those languages as well. And if your only language is English, well, they really don't care. You are simply not a member of their demographic in this free market society.

Seriously, if you only speak English, are you really going to do business in a store that sells fish heads and octopus?

The Blog (I mean "I") have/has had the honor of traveling all over the world. And in every single country that I have visited, without exception, every single place of business that I have entered has had at least one employee who speaks English. Even in (formerly Commie) Moscow. It's good for business. It is only in America, if a business "hablo español" that people are offended.

(Full disclosure... In France, as long as you make an effort to parle français, they will admit that they do speak English and won't spit in your food.)

So really America! Get off your xenophobic high horse and make learning other people's languages as important here as other countries do.

Mitt Romney: The Nice Guy That They Aren't That Into

Poor Mitt. He's like the guy in college that all the hot girls like to hang out with and cry about what assholes the guys they are dating are, but they won't actually date him.

The Gun Shop...

Today, The Huffington Post shared this story...

Online Gun Retailer Labels Obama The 'Greatest Gun Salesman In America'

The following is a true story...

About a year ago, The Blog was sent to a popular Los Angeles "gun club" to work on a television location shoot.

Now maybe The PC was naive about such things, In his mind, he imagined a large location somewhere in one of L.A.'s more rural outer edges. A place with dark, polished woodwork, leather wing-back chairs, walls adorned with paintings of ducks, foxes and horses and a firing range out back. What he found was a dank, industrial hole in the wall with aluminum benches and tables lined up on a concrete floor, walls adorned with posters of Chuck Norris, Sly Stallone and a few scantily clad babes wielding semi-automatic weapons. The room echoed with the blasts of the guns being unloaded into paper targets in a tight, glass enclosed range. And, oh yes, display cases of various models of handguns and ammo for sale. Not a "club" in The Blog's opinion. A "shop." And not a very nice one.

Behind the sales area, a selection of paper targets were offered for sale. 75¢ would buy you a classic "bulls-eye" target or the sort of humanoid line drawing target one sees on cop show gun ranges. But, for an extra quarter, you could upgrade to several fascinating designs! There was the "Muslim Terrorist" holding a bomb. The "Latino Gang Banger" with a weapon not unlike ones held by the babes in the posters and the "Black Thug" with a knife. And, for a buck fifty, a similar "Black Thug" threatening a blonde, white woman, with a similar knife.

Surely, this white liberal is reading too much into this!.... Right?

Looking around, The Blog noticed photocopied fliers posted on bulletin boards and on the doors all around the room. The fliers urged the "club's" "members" to "stock up on guns and, especially, ammo NOW! Before THEY take away your GOD given right to buy them!!!!!!!!!"

WOW!!!!


The Second Amendment is "decided law." A done deal. The Supreme Court has weighed in. But never mind that. THEY are coming for your guns!

The Blog (and anyone paying attention) knows that the NRA is one of the most powerful lobbies in the U.S. and they have, for decades, held Congress (Republicans and Democrats) in their pockets. The President has not uttered a word on the subject of guns or gun control. Not during his campaign, not while he has been in office. And, in the last few years, gun laws in many states have relaxed to ridiculous levels. (Guns in church? Check. On college campuses? Check. Campaign stops and political rallies? Check. Check.)

So, your ol' Uncle PC sauntered over to the counter and struck up a conversation with the "club's" owner. "I see the fliers you have posted. Pretty scary stuff!" The owner squints and says, "Yup."

"I'm  not really up on this stuff," The PC lies. "Who is it, exactly, that wants to take away my precious Second Amendment Rights?"

The owner pulls himself up to his full 5'6" in height and baring his six teeth, proudly hisses, "The nigger in the White House."

Racist? The Curmudgeon reports, you decide.

Crazy Conservative Contradictions

The Blog did not write the following post. He could not have done a better job than the person that put this list together.

There’s a reason liberals look at conservatives like they might be insane. Often, a conservative will say one thing and then, almost immediately, contradict it. Pointing out the contradiction often angers the conservative who then accuses you of either being “stupid” or “twisting their words.” But, because it’s funny to look at crazy people, let’s take a look at conservative contradictions:

 1. There is no need to regulate corporations! The free market dictates that all corporations will act in the best interest of the consumer or be put out of business by the “Invisible Hand.” The Contradiction: Corporations only exist to make money. You cannot expect them to do anything that will interfere with the bottom line. They cannot concern themselves with environmental issues or customer safety if it is more profitable to ignore them. You, as the consumer, need to be more careful!
                                                                         —
2. Corporations should have all the rights of a person. They should be free to exercise their First Amendment rights and buyinfluence elections just like any other citizen of the United States. The Contradiction: Corporations are not people so they cannot be treated like any other citizen of the United States. You can’t arrest them for manslaughter or negligent homicide even if they DID add known carcinogens to that baby food on purpose. Ultimate Contradiction: Unions (basically, a group of people pooling their resources) should not be allowed to influence elections. It corrupts the democratic process.
                                                                          —
3. You should never try to organize labor. That’s selfish. Unions extort money from corporations, inflate the salaries of workers and give them unearned benefits, like maternity leave and pensions. Union workers are greedy and do not care about the companies they work for. The fact that they are paid so well is a sure sign that they are wrong. The Contradiction: How dare you try to limit CEO pay and severance packages?! Those people work hard and earn every penny they get, even if they drove the company right into bankruptcy! So what if they took billions of tax payers’ money to stay afloat, they still deserve those bonuses!
                                                                           —
4. All liberal celebrities should shut the hell up. They don’t know what they’re talking about and should leave politics to politicians. Liberal celebrities aren’t real Americans anyway because they’re from Hollywood! The Contradiction: Here to explain to you how liberal policies are unpatriotic and probably illegal are Victoria Jackson, Kelsey Grammer and Jon Voight, Chock Norris, Bruce Willis, John Wayne and, oh yes, Ronald Reagan.
                                                                             —
5. The Government cannot create any jobs at all and can never reduce unemployment, only the private sector can do that. The Contradiction: The Government has too many people on its payroll; we have to reduce the number of public sector jobs. Ultimate Contradiction: See how many public sector jobs we’ve lost under Obama? He made unemployment worse!
                                                                             —
6. We really invaded Iraq to get rid of a terrible dictator and it had nothing to do with 9/11. The Contradiction: Why is Obama invading Libya?! To take down a terrible dictator?! How is that our problem?!
                                                                             —
7. Osama bin Laden was responsible for 9/11 because he gave the order to carry out the attack. The Contradiction: President Obama can’t take ANY credit for the death of Osama bin Laden because all he did was give the order to carry out the attack.
                                                                              —
8. Any journalist, politician or private citizen that questions President Bush during a time of war is a traitor. The Contradiction: During this time of war it is our patriotic duty to question President Obama about every little detail of his agenda.
                                                                              —
9. Providing billions of tax-payer money to people in dire financial straits is Socialism and will lead to the destruction of the country. The Contradiction: Providing trillions of tax-payer money to banks in dire financial straits is Capitalism and will lead to the salvation of the country.
                                                                               —
10. We must protect innocent fetuses by any means necessary. Terrorism and assassination is justifiable because we are protecting children! The Contradiction: Providing pregnant women with medical care and proper nutrition is a burden on the tax-payers and we can’t afford it. We need that money to fight terrorism!
                                                                              —
11. Islam is a religion of terrorists! They murder innocents in the name of Allah and that’s just wrong! That’s why we’re better than they are! The Contradiction: All homosexuals should be put to death! They are the work of Satan! If we cannot pray away their gay then we must do as the Jayzus commands and stone them to death!
                                                                               —
12. My freedom of religion is absolute! It says so right there in the Constitution! You can’t restrict my right to worship where and how I want! The Contradiction: Those damn Muslims keep putting up mosques wherever the hell they want! Who do they think they are?! That should be illegal!
                                                                               —
13. The Constitution is inviolate! Why are liberals always trying to shred the Constitution?! The Contradiction: We should just ignore the 14th Amendment! It allows anchor and terror babies! We have to protect ourselves from the furrners!
                                                                               —
14. Damn liberals always trying to select activist judges that will just “interpret” the Constitution however they want to fit their Socialist agenda! The Founding Fathers knew what they were doing and we should also follow their intent, not just make it up as we go along! The Contradiction: Citizens United? I think the Supreme Court did a fine job of interpreting the Constitution to fit our much more complex times, don’t you?
                                                                              —







The Blog would like to add one more point....


15. During the GWB administration, Conservatives argued that, agree or disagree, respect must be shown to "the office" of the presidency. The Contradiction: Precious little respect has been shown by Conservatives to "the office" under Obama. (or for that matter, Clinton.)

R.I.P Small

This has been going on for a number of years. But, since The Blog has just recently started blogging, he's going to say something about it now.

What the fuck has happened to "Small?"

Small no longer exists in the food industry. The Blog could blame Starbucks coffee for replacing the word "small" with the word "tall." And, that would probably be valid. The Blog hates their over roasted, (read, burnt) coffee beans. But Starbucks is one of the very few non-union employers in the U.S. that pays it's employees more than minimum wage and provides health insurance to their part time workers. ( Costco and Trader Joe's get the thumbs up, too.)

But, a few years ago, The Blog went into a Pizza Hut and asked for a medium pizza and a small drink. "We don't have small drinks." said the pimply faced counter employee. "We have medium, large, or extra large."

Now, The Blog feels terrible about this, but his head exploded when he heard this. The poor teen-aged employee was only parroting what her corporate masters had taught her. But, he went off. "If you have three sizes, they are 'small, medium and large! Calling 'small' 'medium' and 'large' 'extra large' is the equivalent of turning your amplifier up to 11." That poor kid is probably still in therapy. I wish her well.

But, all these years later. "small" no longer exists. Small is now "regular," "medium" or "tall."

Commerce has effectively changed our language.

Random Thoughts

There is a sign in every medical waiting room asking patients to be considerate of others and not use their cell phones. So please doctors, stop taking personal calls on yours in the middle of examinations! (The tally so far... six different doctor visits in the past month, six cellular interruptions.)

Men should never express their opinions about abortion and contraception ever.

People who most believe in an omnipotent, infallible God are the ones most frightened by perceived attacks on their God.

The Blog had to Google "Foster Friess" to learn that he has nothing to do with soft serve ice cream. (And considering that he is the sugar daddy of Rick "Instant Google Joke" Santorum, that is sort of a relief!) BTW... Foster Friess may be the most unfortunate name since Armand Hammer.

Republican politicians used to say racist, sexist, elitist things quietly and behind closed doors. Now they blurt them out publicly, like drunken Facebook posters.

Speaking of Facebook... The Blog is "friended" with a famous 1990's pornography director who does nothing but share pictures of cute puppies on his wall. That strikes The Blog as weirder than any of the fetish videos that said friend ever directed.

Dear Sarah Palin, It's over. Please go away.

Hope

Some days, The Blog comes home from work convinced that the world is truly fucked up, that people are irredeemably dysfunctional, and that there is no evil that human beings are not capable of committing.

On other days, he discovers that miracles are regularly performed, not by "God," but by amazing, dedicated human beings.

And, hope is restored.

A New Pharmaceutical

Lemonade

The Premature Curmugeon Prematurly Ages

The Blog has never eaten at a Chick-Fil-A.

Chick-Fil-A got some unwanted attention about a year ago when the corporation played "The Victim Card" because some Godless, humanist, leftist, homo sympathizers had the gall to exercise their First Amendment right to point out to their friends and neighbors the fact that the Georgia based fast food establishment, sometimes known to it's secular fans as "Jesus Chicken," has been supporting politicians and state propositions that some of us might find objectionable. Of course, none of that should come as any surprise to anyone who has ever noticed the sign posted in front of every outlet, sanctimoniously informing passers by that "Chick-Fil-A is CLOSED on Sundays" along side a photo of their 182 year old founder and chairman S. Truett Cathy, smiling a smile that says, "I'm not really sure of where I am but I'm about to soil my adult diaper."

Right next to the always entertaining sign featuring a LOLCow. ("Eat Mor Chikin!")

The Blog could say that it is because he objects to the company's contributions to far right-wing political candidates. Or, that they were second only to the Mormon Church in financial support of California's odious and unconstitutional "Proposition 8."

But, the truth is that, in spite of Chick-Fil-A's ubiquitous presence in shopping mall food courts across the country, The Blog has always walked past this establishment with a laser like focus on the nearby McDonald's, Steak Escape or even Hot Dog On a Stick. Deep fried chicken breast on a bun just doesn't strike The Blog as a tasty meal. And frankly, those little toothpick impaled samples that they are always, desperately, pushing just look a little gross. (And that's coming from someone who just admitted to eating the occasional Hot Dog On a Stick!)

And so, I repeat, The Blog has never eaten at a Chick-Fil-A.

Until this evening.

Here in So-Cal, Chick-Fil-A has begun a massive expansion, building free standing restaurants every six blocks or so. The excitement among Chick-Fil-A fans is palpable. The drive thru's of the stores that have opened have cars lined up around the building all day, every day (well, except, you know, on Sundays.) So, Mrs. Blog and I decided to try it and see what all the fuss was about.

While The Blog found that the Spicy Chicken Deluxe sandwich was tastier than expected, and The Blog does love him some waffle fries, overall The Blog was underwhelmed by what was a pretty mediocre meal. The Blog predicts that once the novelty wears off, Chick-Fil-A will be the Krispy Kreme of the second decade of the 21st Century.

But, none of that is the point of this post. The point of this post is this......

Of course, The Blog took the discount. Because, The Blog is not an idiot!

Welcome

Sarah Palin Speaks at CPAC

Sarah Palin is one sex tape short of being the Kim Kardashian of politics.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/11/sarah-palin-cpac-speech-_n_1270473.html?ref=politics&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Newt On Unemployment Insurance

Dear Mr. Gingrich,

In my 30+ years of employment, I and my employers have paid into Unemployment Insurance. That's insurance, Mr. Gingrich! And as with any insurance that I pay premiums on, I have every right to expect to be able to collect on it when I need it, for however long as I need it. And, I have gone through periods, during the past 30+ years that I have had to collect.

As someone that has made millions of dollars sucking at the government tit over those same 30 years, you have big, shiny, brass balls to suggest that those of us who actually work for a living, but sometimes lose our jobs through no fault of our own, are spending our down time sitting on our asses rather than pursuing "life, liberty and happiness."

You sir, have made some pretty stupid, vile and heartless statements in your time. But, this one earns you The Premature Curmudgeon's very first "Flying Fuck You" award.

Congratulations asshole.

http://veracitystew.com/2012/02/10/newt-gingrich-unemployment-benefits-violate-the-declaration-of-independence-video/

                                                                            

More from "The Christian Response...."

"EPA & Hollywood Use 'Lorax' To Brainwash Kids On Green Energy"
You know, Just like The Muppets.

"New Book Takes On The Energy Killing EPA And Obama's Pro-Muslim Policies"
The EPA and the Muslim Obama!
Because killing energy production is high on the Muslim agenda.

'Teaching For Change' - Creating More Anti-Americans In Our Public Schools"
More about those Pinko public schools.
Because teaching six-year-olds "The Pledge of Allegiance" is not indoctrination. But, teaching them that we stole the country from the indians is.

"Glenn Beck Shows You How To Deal With A Broken CFL Light Bulb"
"Get out your hazmat suit, cardboard and a glass jar - and have everyone leave the building if you drop a CFL light bulb."
  (I'm going to try to link to this vid. Because no one is better qualified to tell you about this than that self proclaimed "Rodeo Clown" Glenn Beck! We'll see how this goes.)

A Cautionary Tale

In an earlier post, The Blog mentioned that his email address, while whoring around in places it knew better than to be, contracted a PTD (Politically Transmitted Disease.) With every passing day, from that point on, his inbox became exponentially infested with more and more pustules of right-wing propaganda.

The first nasty lesion to pop up was TownhallDaily.com, a compilation of "conservative" op-ed columns from, mostly, mainstream newspaper, radio and TV talking heads. Deep thinkers like Bill O'Reilly , Jonah Goldberg, Larry Elder, Ann Coulter and Chuck Norris. (Yes. THAT Chuck Norris!) Along with Townhall Daily came Townhall Spotlight, a daily "paid content" ad for anything from Newt Gingrich campaign ads to ads promoting stock investments in whatever company paid to have their ad placed in the email. (BTW... If you have ever wondered who is buying all of those Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck books, putting them on the best seller's lists, look no further than Townhall, where if you register on their web site, you will receive, "absolutely free" whatever tome came out this month.)

After that came the fringy organizations, all of which include words like "American," "Patriot," or "Family" in their names. All of which exist to warn you that "[Liberals, Democrats, Obama, Hillary Clinton, the U.N. and Hollywood Elites] want to take your [guns, religion, property, wealth, marriage sanctity, freedoms and, weirdly, Social Security and Medicare] away from you.

And then, not 24 hours after The Blog posted those comments, a new, oozing sore appeared in the vicinity of his inbox's genitals. The irony deficient named "The Christian Response." Like Townhall, The Christian Response is a compendium of right-wing bullshit. But, with the "hate factor" cranked up to 11.

Here are a few of "The Christian Response" headlines from the past few days ....

"Just What We Need: A Super U.N. EPA"

"One World Government - Jerome Corsi Lays Out The Agenda"

"Obama Hollows Out Our Military Forces"

And, my favorites....

"Erick Erickson: 'The Perversion Of The Words Of Our Lord Jesus Christ By The Sinner Barack H. Obama'"

and...

"Ellen DeGeneres Appointed AIDS Envoy & Spokes-Lesbian For J.C. Penney"

I swear, I am not making these up!


The moral of this story is, do not venture into right-wing territory without proper protection!

A Brief Comment About Last Night's GOP Primary

Minnesota, Missouri & Colorado.... Rick Santorum? Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!

Super Bowl Wrap Up

So, The Blog gathers that there was some sort of sporting event this past weekend. Kidding. The Blog knows. Super Bowl. Giants. Patriots. Football. Madonna. Yay, Giants!.... Whatever.

Frankly, it pisses The Blog off that any part of his brain is dedicated to knowing this stuff as much as the portions of his brain that are wasted knowing who Snooki, Kim Kardashian or the judges on "American Idol" are.

As far as The PC is concerned, The Super Bowl isn't about football. Really, why does anyone fucking care? It really boils down to "The four hours that are filled with commercials that are better than usual."

Thanks to the magic of Tivo™, The Blog was able to spend the day earning a meager paycheck, then later, at his leisure, fast forward through the mindless brutality, and take in the wonders of crass but creative, commercialism.

The Blog won't take time breaking down every last commercial spot. 48 hours have passed and the media, internet and water cooler denizens all over the country have already done that to death. So, just a few comments and observations.

The e*trade baby and CareerBuilder.com's chimps never get old. While they are no longer the OMG! attention getters that they once were, they have become as comfortable as an old t-shirt or a Budweiser clydesdale commercial.

At the other end of the spectrum, we should have realized with last year's Joan Rivers gag that GoDaddy.com spots ( a once edgy and hilarious dig at the FCC, post Janet Jackson)  had officially jumped the shark. This year's spot with Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels body painting a willowy, possibly naked, young blonde was inexplicable. The Blog can't even muster the interest to go to their site to see the "unrated" additional content.

Nostalgia reigned with car commercials featuring Matthew Broderick riffing on "Ferris Bueller" and Jerry Seinfeld with memorable gags. What cars were they advertising? Damned if I know. Which means that, as entertaining as they were, these spots ultimately failed. I do know that Audi did the funny vampire spot. Not as clever as the other two, but at least The Blog remembers what the ad was selling.

And then there were the two Doritos ads. One featuring a cat killing, bribe offering dog and a human that could be bought off with a small bag of chips. The other, an wheelchair bound grandma and a jumper bound baby being taunted by an odious bully. Sick shit! And, therefore, The PC's  favorites of the night! Both of these spots were produced as part of a contest, rather than by professional advertising houses. That says something, I think.

VW's ad, a dog commercial that morphed into a throwback to last year's Darth Vader spot was pretty clever. The Blog met the boy who plays "the Vader kid" about a year ago. He's the adorably precocious sort of child one usually only finds in sitcoms. The Blog may be biased on this one.

And finally, Clint Eastwood and the Chrysler company. Clint, with his gravelly voice, clenched teeth and squinty eyes, as if he was still dealing with a Sergio Leone sand storm, rambling on for two solid minutes about the triumphant return of the American auto industry and American exceptionalism. The Blog spent the entire spot thinking about car commercials and jingoism. But, as the spot faded to black, The PC thought to himself, "Holy Shit! This Conservative Republican just used 180 seconds of verbiage to say 'Yes We Can!" It should not have surprised your ol' Uncle PC that within 12 hours, the Right-Wing noise machine and Dubua's Abbie Normal brain in search of a new body, Karl Rove, would be decrying this spot as a free ad for the Obama campaign. Eastwood has responded that he is no "minion" of Obama's. Maybe, like Charlton Heston, as a gun hating silverback in Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes" remake, Clint just didn't get the joke.  Better, I suppose, the ad should have told us that the auto industry bail out was a failure and America is going to Hell in a hand basket. The Blog wonders if we will be seeing this ad replayed (as all the others will be for the next 12 months) on any of the Fox networks.

A brief comment on Madonna's half-time show. The Blog didn't watch it. A couple of years ago, The Blog realized that if the context of the Super Bowl half-time show could make The Who suck, why should he expect more from any other performance?

Separated at Birth?

On the left, Republican/Liberaterian presidential candidate Ron Paul. The Blog ran across this photo last night, setting off bells of mental recognition. "Where have I seen this before?"

A quick Google search answered the question and transported The PC back to his youthful days as a "Famous Monsters of Filmland" horror movie geek.

On the right, silent movie actor Charles Ogle as "The Monster" in the 1909 silent film adaptation of "Frankenstein."

Now, The Blog could probably make a political analogy here, if not for the fact that Ron Paul's poll numbers suggest that it would be a waste of time and energy to rant about his blatant racism couched in conservative rationalizations. Or about his ideas that are right for all the wrong reasons. Or about his dedication to the cult of "Objectivism," so strong that he named his son after noted novelist, sociopath and hypocrite Ayn Rand.

No, there is really no point.

Your ol' Uncle PC is just struck by the eerie similarities in these photos. Both, horrifyingly repulsive, yet endearingly amusing.

Happy 64th (seriously? 64th????) birthday, Alice Cooper!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQE0pfBAYQ8

Zombie Sheep

A couple of years ago, I sent an email to a "conservative" pundit. It turns out that this is a bad idea. You are safer picking up a hooker at a "Survivors of a Sexually Transmitted Disease" convention. My email address went viral in the right-wing internet community and now my inbox is filled, daily, with right-wing propaganda.  I am always tempted to mark these emails as "junk." But, it is just too entertaining and enlightening to read the lies that they disseminate. (i.e.: "Hillary is going to sign the United Nation's Small Arms treaty. This will mean that Obama will be able to take your guns away from you.") I spend about 20 precious minutes of my life fact checking everything that these emails tell me. (The U.N. Small Arms treaty has NOTHING to do with American's Second Amendment rights.) I wonder why so many conservatives put up with being lied to as much as they do. I think that conservative pundits are not stupid, but believe that their followers are. (And, I'm not so sure that they're wrong about that.) I have exactly one conservative friend (at least, among those that I discuss politics with) that seems to actually think for himself. And, I thank his God for him! (Hi, Terry Joe!) The rest just lap up the propaganda like a bunch of zombie sheep. I fear that there is no hope for them. Here is a fun game... Copy the comments that your conservative friends make on Facebook, emails or message boards and paste them into Google. See how many hits you find of the exact, verbatim comments.

George Carlin and God

No blogging tonight. Guess I'm just not pissed off enough. But, to prime you for some upcoming rants about religion, I'll let a guy who was funnier than I could ever hope to be get things started. Ladies and gentlemen, George Carlin!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPOfurmrjxo

Clown Cars and Train Wrecks

Tuesday night, the state of Florida relinquished it's crown as the most bat-shit crazy state in the U.S. The new heir won't be chosen for a few more months, but it will be hard to top the state of Iowa. Not just because they elected Rick "Please Don't Google My Name" Santorum the caucus winner. But, because they did so after misplacing the votes from 8 (eight) precincts.

Prognosticators have called the primary for Mitt Romney. But when you consider that a scant four months ago, Newt Gingrich was on the bottom of the pile and his entire campaign staff walked off the job, is now running a disturbingly close second, can anyone really know what will happen?

Herman Cain has endorsed Newt and "The Donald" Trump has backed Mitt, giving them both so much credibility! I have no facts to back this up, but I assume that Chuck Norris has endorsed Ron Paul and Jesus is behind Rick "Seriously, PLEASE don't Google My Name" Santorum.

And, pity the poor Evangelicals. (A sentence that I could never have imagined typing.) They have to choose between the Mormon and the Catholic, (who, as it turns out, has had more wives that the Mormon.)

At this point, the GOP primary (aka: "The Committee to Re-Elect Obama" ) is more entertaining than "Survivor: Vanuatu."

Pulitzer Prize winning humorist Dave Barry is not running for president for the first time in two decades. Presumably because nothing that he could say or do is funnier than anything happening during this primary season.

¡Viva Caesar!

Learning Curve

I'm gonna spend this evening putting off doing any actual writing learning what all the little buttons on the composition page do. I might write something later. Probably not. You are welcome to watch as I try out the different doohikies and thingamabobs. You know, if you've got nothing better to do. If you like, you could go check out a favorite site of mine. http://www.chucklorre.com/ It's a blog, of sorts, too. But, the author may not know it. The site is an archive of what we in the industry call "vanity cards." It's by the creator of "Two and a Half Men" and "The Big Bang Theory." He's funny and makes more money in a week than I will make in the next decade. But, that's okay. This is kind of fun. Next, I'll try inserting a photo and embedding a video. Let's see how it goes.

Welcome Back!

For those of you who have been following along, not minutes after The Blog launched, The PC noticed that he had managed to drop a letter from the URL. After much frustration over trying to fix the error, he (okay, this "third person" thing is already wearing thin)... I sat back and took a hard look at the URL I had chosen and thought, "Jesus! Who the hell wants to have to type that into the address bar? The whole "dot blogspot dot com" already makes the address too damn long!" So, in the fine tradition of Jeniffer Lopez, Andy Roddick, Puff Daddy and Brad and Angelina, I decided to go all contraction on my nom de blog. From this point forward, the blogger formerly known as The Premature Curmudgeon is now..... P Curm. At first, I thought I would go with "PreCurm" but that struck me as weirdly dirty sounding. After thinking about it for a minute, I realized why it sounded dirty. Ewww! On a blog that I intend to be rude and a bit offensive, I had actually grossed myself out! I don't know if that means that The Blog is off to a bad start or a good one!

BTW... If I do this right, this blog should be considered NSFWUYWFTO  (Not Safe For Work, Unless You Work For The Osbournes) (Thank you Dave Barry!) Do consider yourself warned!

Thanks so much to all of you who have already visited! (52 views and 2 members my first night! Wow!) Now, bookmark this blog. Better yet, subscribe! I promise to get things rolling and I think it's gonna get good! Tell your friends!

(And if you are asking yourself, "Hey! What happened to The PC's second post?" In the clear light of day, I realized that it was awfully sloppy. I can do better than that. So, BAM! that post is gone. I will revisit the points in the near future.)

I'm putting the blog on hold for a bit, while I try to sort out my URL problem. I will post on Facebook when I'm back up! Thanks for coming by!