My Bumper Sticker Collection: Part 2

The above may well be my all time favorite tea bagging, wing-nut bumper sticker.

Not only is it an entire manifesto crammed onto one 3x10 inch sticker, it is attached to the bumper of the pick-up truck (yes, another truck) that belongs to my next door neighbor. My neighbors are really sweet people. But, kinda clueless. You see, he makes his living mowing lawns, and she is a former public (yes, public) school teacher who is currently collecting a permanent disability check from, you know, the government.

Damn socialists!

Pardon the Delay.....

Your old Uncle Curmudgeon has spent a good chunk of the evening writing about his observations concerning "the wealth gap" and has realized that "Part 2" isn't even close to being ready to be posted. Hopefully, by tomorrow night, I'll have that ready.

Until then, I will look through my archives for another bumper sticker for your entertainment. I will post that shortly.

My Bumper Sticker Collection: Part One

A short post for tonight, while The Blog drinks unwinds after a long, stressful day.

I collect really absurdly moronic right-wing bumper stickers that I run across from time to time. The above is attached to a truck (they are almost always on trucks) that is regularly parked a block from my house. From the first time I saw it, I have wanted to take a picture of it. By a strange twist of fate, I discovered the truck parked three spaces down from me at the hospital this afternoon.

(One hopes that he, or his loved one, who is in the hospital has good insurance coverage. Otherwise, he or his loved one will be getting treatment at the expense of those of us that do have coverage. But, I digress....)

Ya gotta love a sticker that is "glass hammer" stupid on more than one level!

First, this is a classic example of "Obama Derangement Syndrome." This tea bagger hates all the awful things that he imagines in his fevered, paranoid brain that Obama has "done to" America. You know, like pulling the country back from the brink of a new "Great Depression," jump starting the auto industry, lowering the unemployment rate, providing health insurance for the uninsured and generally fucking up the country.

Second, this guy remembers George W. Bush as a really awesome president.

Finally, he demonstrates his keen understanding of The Constitution's Twenty-second Amendment.

My thoughts are with him and/or his loved one. Spending time in the hospital sucks for the patient and his/her family.

I hope that the brain damage is reversible.

Update

Crisis averted for now. All is peaceful. Grateful for the doctors and staff at Torrance Memorial Hospital and for halfway decent health insurance.

I'm a Tease!

I know that I promised to post entertaining and insightful commentary about the wealth gap tonight.

Unfortunately, an unscheduled crisis has arisen that requires me to put my mind to work on important but mundane tasks that force me to pass on tonight's entry.

The blog will (probably) resume it's regular function of serving up snarky outrage on Saturday night.

See you then!

Observations About Wealth: Part One

"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me."
                                                              -- F. Scott Fitzgerald "The Rich Boy" (1926), paragraph 3


Wealth.

The Curmudgeon has nothing against it. In fact he endeavors to collect as much of his own as he can.

But, current events and topics... the growing wealth gap, the 1%, record corporate profits and stagnating employee compensation, the unfolding story of Mitt Romney's plans to replace his 3,000 sq. ft., La Jolla, California mansion with an 11,000 sq. ft. estate, complete with a basement that is larger than the living quarters of The White House and a garage with elevators for his cars, combined with The Blog's own up close observations of the lifestyles of the... well... you know, has got me thinking about the disparity and disconnect between the obscenely wealthy and the average, middle class, working stiff.

It's all a little more complicated than an "Occupy" mentality. So it will take a couple of nights for me to sort it all out.

Stay tuned!

Stress!!!!!!!

The Curmudgeon is back, almost.

If you read my last non-post, you know that things weren't going so well in The Blog household. The good news is that no hospital visits were required. The bad news is that I reached a point that left me too stressed out to write anything nasty on the blog for a couple of days. I did, however, manage to write something nasty on my Facebook status that had me apologizing to loved ones for the next 48 hours.

But, things are returning to normal. Or, what passes for normal around here.

I'm sure that by this time tomorrow night, I will have something snarky to say about The United States Supreme Court, the Treyvon Martin case, or the egregious use of quotation marks and apostrophes in public sign-age.

Stay tuned.

(By the way... You may notice that I am keeping the ironic, third party self reference to a minimum. I heard a radio guy today who referred to himself in the third person through the entire show. By the end of the first half hour, I wanted to reach into the radio and shake it right out of him!!!!! Okay, so maybe I am still a little stressed!)

No Post Tontght.

No post tonight. The Blog is busy monitoring Mrs. Blog's chest pains. She insists that she does not have to go to the E.R. Her breathing is okay. Just a pain in her chest. I think that she should go to the E.R. but, she is insisting that she doesn't need to. After three hours, she seems to be okay. So, I guess that that is fine. The BlogDog seems worried, as she has posted herself against the bedroom door. For now, everything seems okay. But, if Mrs. Blog is still hurting in the morning, we will be going to the hospital, whether she likes it or not. Your good thoughts are appreciated.

No New Post Tonight

But, this from John Fugelsang... "T.E.A. P.A.R.T.Y. = Total Economic Amnesia Permits Additional Republican Trickle-down. Y'all."

Everything Happens For a Reason

Happiness

For all of my Bloglits who despair that this blog is nothing but a fount of negativity....
Here are some thoughts about happiness from, of all people, Alfred Hitchcock.

Hitchcock on Happiness

Take his comments to heart!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Remember that it's amateur night. So, be careful out there!

Don't Hate

How to Tick Off a Democrat???

Okay, Bloglits! Let's get to it....

At about this time last night, The Blog was in a quandary about what to write about, or even if he should just skip it. It's not that there was any shortage of absurdity in the world yesterday. Far from it. But, in the world of politics, there was nothing that hadn't already been commented on by people smarter and funnier than The Blog. Absurd human behavior? Your Ole Uncle PC saw some shit at work yesterday that pushed the absolute limits of bat-shitery! But, The Blog is contractually prohibited from discussing that stuff and The Blog likes his job and wishes to keep it. So that's out.

So, unless The Blog could do four paragraphs about the asshole that cut him off on La Brea Blvd. on his way to work, he had nothin'.

And then, there it was! A link on The Blog's Facebook news feed posted by an old friend (an actual friend from his high school days, not just a "friend" in the social network sense,) that took the clicker to a blog entry that made The Blog fall to his knees and praise the Gods of the internets! A commentary that not only attempted to defend one of the stupidest right-wing talking points ever, but also a commentary so poorly written, so all over the map and so cluelessly contradictory that The Blog knew that he simply would not have enough time, last night, to give it the attention that it deserved. (or, frankly, didn't deserve.)

Check out the link below to read the commentary. ( A caveat... tonight, when I accessed this page, right about the time it finished loading, it suddenly redirected me to a blank page. So let it load until you can read it, then click the "stop" button on your browser.)

Go ahead. Read it. It's short. I'll wait.

How to Tick Off a Democrat - Call it the 'Democrat Party'

Okay. Really? You aren't going to go there? You want me to do the work for you? Fine. I see how it is. Alright, I'll quote some excerpts and give you a synopsis.

{Lazy ass Bloglits.}

You've seen the title of the piece. That's the main point. Using the word "Democrat" when "Democratic" is appropriate, really pisses off members of The Democratic Party. 

Here is the opening sentence....

Liberals hate it when you refer to their party as the “Democrat” Party and not by its official name — the “Democratic Party.”

Sticking with that point for the time being, (while saving a critique of the commentary's overall content for later) The Blog's fellow independent Liberals and Democrats already know this (we have discussed it at our weekly agenda meetings) The Blog would like to address his Conservative, Republican friends....

Hey you Republican guys and gals! I want to let you in on a little secret. When you use the term "democrat" in place of the word "democratic" it really doesn't "tick [us] off" at all. The truth is, we snicker and elbow each other in the ribs. Why? Because using phrases like "the Democrat Party" or "the Democrat Senator" or "the Democrat legislation" makes you sound like an uneducated rube. And, if that's not enough, you deliver that supposed epithet as if you have just said the cleverest thing ever. You are like a right-wing Sheldon Cooper shouting "BAZINGA!!!" Yeah, you sure got one off on those stupid liberals! That is some seriously rapier wit!

And man! That just cracks us up!

Sure, we may correct you. We may say, "That's The Democratic Party, asshole!" We feign offense because that means you will keep on making yourselves look stupid.

The Blog is reminded of an old joke....

Two geezers are chatting at the foot of one of the geezer's driveways. A kid we will call "Billy" comes walking toward them. One geezer says to the other, "Watch this. This kid is so stupid!" Geezer #one says, "Hey Billy! I have a nickel and a dime. You can have one of them. Which one do you want?" Billy says, "I'll take the nickel, 'cause it's bigger." He takes the nickel and walks away. Geezer #two catches up with Billy and says, "You seem smarter than that. Why did you take the nickel when you know that the dime is worth more?" Billy says, "Because, if I take the dime, he'll stop playing the game!"

I think that you get my point.

As for the rest of the content of the commentary... (Liberals and Dems, you can come back now) If you have actually gone and read it, you will see that this self appointed pundit digresses, right at the beginning, with some thoughts about Geraldo Rivera's alleged sexual proclivities. Once he gets past that distraction, he proceeds to contradict his own premise by showing that most Democrats really don't give a shit about the Democratic vs. Democrat usage. Then, after a truly baffling dissertation on grammar, he concludes with the following contradiction...

So if you want to tick off Democrats, call their party the “Democrat Party.” See how many of them notice. I bet most of them won’t.

As the great philosopher, Bugs Bunny often said, "Wot a maroon!"

What amuses The Blog the most about this whole thing is that a man with three university degrees, including a doctorate, a professor who molds the minds of young, future "Conservatives," actually thought that this claptrap was worthy of sharing with his social network friends.

And that, my Bloglits, is truly absurd!

BTW... While we are on the subject, (I'm talking to conservatives, again,) You don't do yourselves any favors when you replace the word "public" with the word "government." As in "government  schools," "government utilities," and "government healthcare." Not to mention calling "The Affordable Healthcare Act" "Obamacare." When The Blog hears or reads these phrases, he can't help but picture Mammy Yokum hopping around Dogpatch, howling about "The Revenooers!" Seriously, you might as well stick a Post-It™ note on your forehead that says, "Mindless, right-wing, ideologue."

"Real America"

Didn't you know? "Real America" consists of towns where the residents have never ventured outside of a 50 mile radius of where they were born! Where "going into the city" means the annual shopping trip to the Sears Roebuck in Mt. Aidey! Where New York and Los Angeles aren't just foreign countries, they are other planets! That's what "real Americans" like Rick Santorum and Sarah Palin tell us. So it must be true!

‘Real America’ 2.0: Santorum Bashes NYC And Los Angeles

Tomorrow...  The Blog has received manna from Heaven! An article defending one of the stupidest Republican talking points ever! Courtesy of an F.O.T.B. (Friend of The Blog) who has an actual PhD. in Right-Wing, Christian ignorance! So, tune in tomorrow! Same Bat-Time! Same Bat-Channel!
P.S. The Blog never intended the blog to be so focused on politics.  He meant to poke fun at all of the absurdities of today's world. But, let's be honest. There is currently nothing more absurd than the modern "conservative" world view. So that's just how it is going to be for now.

Let Me Get This Straight...

The following meme has been making the Facebook rounds for the last couple of days.

The Blog's Facebook friends who have been posting this are all nice, decent people. But, they are people that The Blog does not feel close enough to to engage in direct debate.

So, your Ole Uncle PC is going to lay it out here, on his home turf.

'Nuff said!

Guess the Quote

Hey kids! It's time to play "Guess the Quote."

Who said the following in a 2009 op-ed?

Put your answer in the comments section. If you are right, you will win... well... nothing, actually. But, The Blog will give you a virtual pat on the back for recognizing a good example of Republican hypocrisy!

An Apology

Members!

The Blog wants to take a moment to thank those of you who have become "members" of The Blog's, well... um... blog.

Blogger.com's "statistics" page shows that an amazing number of people from all over the world check out The Blog's rants and raves on a pretty regular basis. And The Blog is flattered and appreciative!

But, to those of you who have committed to becoming members of this blog... This crusty old crank has a soft spot in his heart for you. The Blog vows to continue his mission to offend all who deserve the offense. The Blog truly hopes that you are never among the offended! (And if you are, that you have the sense of humor to understand that that is what this blog is all about!)

As for the rest of you, (I'm talking to you Russia, Australia and local coworkers who tell me privately that you love my stuff) What are you waiting for? Sure, you have to sell your first born to Google to join up. But, isn't it worth it to be one of The PC's official Bloglitts?

A Living Legend!

A couple of days ago, The Blog paid a posthumous tribute to one of his childhood idols, Davy Jones.

Tonight, The Blog would like to pay tribute to a Hollywood legend who is still, thankfully, with us.

Because today, The  Blog got to spend his morning with Dick Van Dyke!

Mr. Van Dyke has been a part of The Blog's life since The Blog's earliest memories. Tripping over ottomans on his eponymous sit-com. Dancing with penguins in "Mary Poppins." Piloting a flying car in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." And, sleuthing in "Diagnosis Murder." (And, oh yes, let's not forget his villainous role in "Dick Tracy!")

The Blog mentioned earlier that working in Hollywood had it's cool perks. This morning the perk was meeting this living legend. The Blog is pleased to inform his bloglitts that Mr. Van Dyke is, as you might hope, one of the nicest human beings that you could ever hope to meet!

Just a couple of things bug your ole Uncle PC.

Numero Uno... The Blog wishes that he had half the energy 10 years ago that the 86-year-old Van Dyke has today.

Numero Two-oh.... Like Davy, Dick has a wife less than half his age, who, contrary to expectations, does not, in the slightest, come off as a gold digging, bimbo, trophy wife, but rather, as a lovely, wonderful woman who is as in love with her man as he is with her.

And that makes a cynical old bastard like the PC feel just a little better about the world!

It Isn't Just Rush

Unless you have been living on a moon colony for the last several days, you know that Rush Limbaugh has gotten himself into some hot water regarding his comments about private citizen and highly honored law student Sandra Fluke. The Blog won't rehash it all here. If you need to catch up, you can scroll down a couple of posts or, you know, get on Facebook for the full saga.

(Favorite Limbaugh joke....
Q: What's the difference between The Hindenburg and Rush Limbaugh?
A: One is a bloated, unstable, dangerous, Nazi gas bag. The other is The Hindenburg.
... End joke.)

In light of all that, you might assume that other radio talkers would be a bit more... I don't know... cautious?... about the adjectives that they choose while on the air.

But this Blog will tell you that you assume wrong!

Today, syndicated, Rush wannabe, radio bloviator, Mark "The Great One" {snork} Levin used the publicly owned, FCC regulated airwaves to describe President Obama using a word so offensive that even this fucking Blog won't use it.

(Okay, full disclosure.... The Blog has, in fact used the word on, maybe, three occasions. All, unlike Levin, in an inappropriately, gender appropriate way. And only in cases when absolutely no other word was quite up to the job. He used the word to describe 1.) a former boss, 2.) a right wing pundit and 3.) a, now deceased, minor celebrity who made her living talking to a sock puppet. )

Not only did Levin use the word on the air but, seconds later, he doubled down and repeated himself. No accidental slip of the tongue was this!

Here is the audio... *WARNING!!!* NSFW (as if much of anything on this blog is...)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naRpIr9l3YQ


The Blog has to wonder what Levin was thinking. And The Blog will hazard a guess.

Back in the last two decades of the 21st century, The Blog suspected that there was a competition among Seattle grunge rockers over who was more depressed. The Blog has always imagined that, upon learning of Kurt Cobain's suicide, Eddie Vedder's first thought must have been, "Damn it! Kurt wins!" (For the record, the talented Mr. Vedder now sports polo shirts and short hair and continues to have a successful music career. Good for him!)

The Blog thinks that that may be what is going on here. Levin has observed Rush's paradoxical implosion/attention whoring, and has decided to up the ante. (Meanwhile, Glen Beck has moved another step closer to his earlier mentioned "Howard Beale moment," while Sean Hannity is thinking, "...wha'...?")

Now, this Blog believes that "El Rushbo" has every right to say whatever he wants within the confines of FCC regulation. The Blog also believes that you and he have every right to deem Limbaugh a shithead, his advertisers have every right to drop his fat ass like it's hot and, though it seems unlikely to happen, his employer has every right to fire him.


(One more digression... The Blog assumes that only a small portion of Rush's Viagra and Oxycotin habits are covered by his health insurance. The Blog is pretty sure that he pays for the rest of his recreational addictions out of pocket. So, good for him, too!)

But, The Blog hopes that the FCC comes down on Levin with all it has and puts a nail through him like that thing stuck through Janet Jackson's nipple. 

The Rock Bottom Remainders

Something a little different tonight.

No anger. No frustration. Only a little bit of absurdity. And an unsolicited plug for a rare treat that actually makes The Blog happy.

In the last 35 years, The Blog has attended his share of great rock concerts. Oh, yes, he has! The Stones at Dodger Stadium. The Who at The Hollywood Bowl. Alice Cooper. KISS (too many times to count.) Front row center at The Monkees (including the reclusive Michael Nesmith) at The Greek and front row for Brother Ray Charles, just to name a few.

But, in the spring of 2006, The Blog attended a show by band that is both sublime and ridiculous at the same time.
The Rock Bottom Remainders are a band that does not tour. They don't record albums and their public appearances are sporadic. They are a band that consists, mostly, of best selling authors. They like to call themselves "the wealthiest garage band in the world."

The band's members vary from show to show, but the original, core band consists of the likes of Dave Barry, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson, Scott Turow, Mitch Albom and Matt Groening, and yes, "Big Steve" Stephen King. The band has also featured professional ringers musical directors Al Kooper and Roger McGuinn.

The accompanying link is a mini-doc about the band from it's early days. YouTube has dozens of clips of the band's performances and TV appearances. If you have some time to waste to indulge in some great entertainment, go to YouTube and explore. Keep your eyes peeled if you watch clips from their 2006 LA Times Festival of Books performance. That bald head in the front row is your ole Uncle Blog!

In recent years, The Blog has become a casual friend of RBR keyboardist Mitch (Tuesdays With Morey) Albom. Every time that I see him, I ask when they will be coming back to L.A. He always answers to the effect of, "You know that once we have played a city, we are usually not asked back. Sometimes we are even banned."

Don't believe him! If The Rock Bottom Remainders ever comes to your town, DO NOT MISS THEM! Trust your friendly neighborhood Blog on this! Their show is the most fun that you will ever have with your clothes on! And all proceeds go to a great cause. A children's literacy charity.

Uncle PC says, "Check them out!"

Rest in Whatever....

The Blog had not planned on commenting on the death of Andrew Breitbart. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," has never been The Blog's motto. But, "Don't speak ill of the dead, (especially within 48 hours of their passing,") just seems, well, polite.

Oh, The Blog wanted to say something like, "Davy Jones and Andrew Breitbart died of the same cause within 24 hours of each other. Thus proving that there is balance in the universe."

He would have liked to say that. But, that wouldn't be nice.

The Blog has spent the last 24 hour news cycle listening to his fellow Liberals twist themselves into politically correct (or, as normal thinking people call it, "polite") positions, acknowledging that Breitbart was "passionate" and that he had a family who loved him and that he loved his country and his mother (presumably.)

But, this evening as your ole Uncle PC read that leftist, commie rag The Los Angeles Times over dinner, he was reminded of something.

When Sen. Ted "Ted" Kennedy died, Breitbart's eulogy for the Socialist, Marxist, Communist senator from Massachusetts included the words "duplicitous bastard."

So, fuck him!

Andrew Breitbart was a lying, libelous scumbag. A shit stain on the tighty whities of "The New Media." He gleefully destroyed careers and the lives of good people and institutions for his own self aggrandizement and profit. His support for odious assholes like James O'Keeffe, the pimp daddy and convicted felon of disingenuous (and badly edited) video "journalism" and delusional 'birthers" like Orly Taitz made him a major player on the stage of radical "conservatism" and a Fox "News" darling. He leaves a legacy of fraudulently destroying the mission of civil rights proponents ACORN and the career of Shirley Sherrod.

About two weeks ago, after witnessing Breitbart's screeching meltdown at the CPAC convention, The Blog predicted that Breitbart was not far away from going "full Howard Beale" sometime soon. But, "Nature's God" (see: Thomas Jefferson) preempted that spectacle, for now. The odds have swung back in favor of Glen Beck taking up that mantel.

No, Andrew Breitbart will not be missed. Not because the world never noticed him. We did. But, because there are plenty of right-wing assholes waiting in the wings, ready to fill the vacancy that he has left open.

And that is the real tragedy.

Oh. And one more thing. For all of you right-wing conspiracy theorists who think that The President had Breitbart "offed" because he said that he had photos and videos of Obama in college that would "ruin him,".... I f I was Breitbart, (God forbid) and I really had those videos, I would not have bragged about it at CPAC. I would have shown them. Right there, at the convention of right-wing assholes. Because I would have been elevated to godhood. Right then and there. But, he didn't do that, did he? No, he didn't. He just hinted at them, like Nixon hinting at his "secret plan" to get us out of Vietnam. So, tighten your tinfoil hats and go fuck yourselves.

"El Rushbo's" "Slut"

So, El Rushbo is once again doing what he does best... Attracting attention to himself by making vile comments on the radio. And doing it in the way he knows best... by making derogatory remarks about women. This all reminds The Blog of a conversation that took place at work a couple of years ago.

Production Muckity-Muck: "I just want to give you the heads up. Rush Limbaugh's fiancé is coming to watch the taping. She's a big fan of the show. We are going to give her the tour, so she will probably come through here. I know how you can be. Just bite your tongue and be nice. Okay?"

Me: :.......... I'm sorry. I stopped hearing you after "Rush Limbaugh's fiancé."

PM-M: "See? That's what I mean!"

*A Follow Up*  After the lovely, future Mrs. Limbaugh came through my office, one of my coworkers (a quiet and very straight laced type) muttered, "Wow. That is one expensive piece of ass."