Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Catwoman

Life is full of debates.

"Republicans versus Democrats?"

"God or no God?"

"Star Trek" or "Star Wars," or "Lost In Space?"

"Goofy or Pluto?"

"The Addams Family" or "The Munsters?"

Debate away! Carry on...

Tonight, The Blog puts on his Geek hat, (or, more accurately, Geek T-shirt) and asks the question that transcends religion, politics and ideology.

"Who is the best Catwoman?"

It is a debate that has occurred within the comic nerd community for decades. But, unlike the  "Superman versus Batman" or "Batman versus Wolverine" debates, the Catwoman question has spilled over into non-comic book lovers arguments.

To begin, let's look at the comic book history of Selina Kyle, aka: Catwoman.

In the beginning, she was a full on villain. A "cat burglar" who could strike an Angelina Jolie, leg pose, with ease. She looked good. But all that long slit skirt and cape action must have made "breaking and entering" difficult.


The Catwoman of the 1960s and '70s was informed by the TV series version. The Lycra "cat suit" which TV's first Catwoman, Julie Newmar claims to have invented. (Quite probably true. Ms. Newmar did, indeed, invent "panty hose.") The TV Catwoman, played by Newmar and, later Eartha Kitt had no "real life" alter-ego. But in the 1966 movie Lee Meriwether's Catwoman was also known as "Kitka."

For decades, the "Who's the best" argument revolved around these three actresses.


For the record, the six-year-old Blogling preferred the least exotic of the three, Ms. Meriwether. During a discussion of this topic some years ago, The Blog mentioned this and said that while Julie Newmar was okay, even at the young age of six, Ms. Kitt struck me a bit too old for the purring, sex kitten routine. "It was creepy then," I said, "And the older she gets, the creepier it gets." A very gay friend who was participating in the debate, looked me straight in the eye and, hilariously, replied, "Well. You just don't know what sexy is!"

In fairness to Ms Kitt, while I was searching for images for this post, I stumbled upon this photo of her from the early 1950s. I have to share it!

                                                                        Because... Wow!

In the 1980's, in Frank Miller's "Batman":Year One" Selina Kyle was reinvented as a street hooker who accidentally kills an abusive "john" then goes on to rescue a 14-year-old runaway, Holly, by dispatching their mutual pimp without remorse. Funding her new found mission in life of disposing of Gotham City scumbags by robbing from the well insured rich, Selina becomes the flipside of Bruce Wayne's coin.





Like The Batman, she is driven to clean up Gotham's seedy underbelly, but with a much looser sense of ethics. Theft and murder are do not hinder Catwoman's mission. And while Batman goes after the flamboyant loonies at the top of Gotham's crime world, Catwoman targets the city's lower than low predators. And, Selina's Holly is never groomed to be a Robin-like sidekick. But remains, instead, a daughter figure and Selina's primary motivation for ridding the city of those who would exploit and endanger her. This story line gives this version of Catwoman the most complete and, dare I say it, realistic, backstory of any of Gotham's "Rouge's Gallery" members.

Which brings us to Tim Burton's "Batman Returns" and Michelle Pfeiffer.



Burton gave Ms. Pfeiffer's Catwoman much of the gritty S&M vibe of the "Year One" Selina. But, sadly he saddled her with a supernatural streak and a ridiculously over the top nemesis.

                                                           Two words. Christopher. Walken. Need I say more?

Then, to add insult to injury, Burton teams her up with one of the most ridiculous Batman villans ever.

                                                                                         Danny DeVito

To be clear... Of the four Burton/Schumacher Batman movies, "Batman Returns" is, by far, The Blog's favorite.

Next came Halle Berry. Halle is, IMHO, one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Let's just leave it at that.

                                                                                 The less said, the better.

And finally...

This weekend, the much anticipated third and final installment in Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, "The Dark Knight Rises" (the best Batman movie series, no, the best comic book based movie series, ever) opens, and gives us always stunning (pardon me while I try to get the drool under control) Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle.

As with all of Nolan's movies, we don't know much about it and won't until it opens. (Nolan recently asked a reporter at a press junket, "So, what can I not tell you about the new movie?") But, here is what The Blog has surmised.

At no time will Selina Kyle ever be referred to as "Catwoman." Why do I think this? Have you ever noticed that that urban assault vehicle Batman drives is never once called "The Batmobile?" Same reason.

Based on the trailers, Selina comes off as a socialite who is leading the "Occupy Gotham" movement. But, for all her disdain for the billionaire Bruce Wayne, she will join forces with Batman to bring down Bane.


*Digression* Your Uncle PC has always hated the Bane character. In the comic books and in Joel Schumacher's gawdawful "Batman and Robin." I'd rather see another try at The Penguin. But, The Blog has faith that Nolan has reinvented Bane into something really interesting. Because, that's what Nolan does! *End Digression.*

So, while my judgement may be *ahem* premature...

The Blog is betting that Anne Hathaway will be.....

THE. BEST. CATWOMAN. EVER!!!



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Lobbyist "White Trash" Party... "Y'all Come, Now!"

This is for real.

A Washington lobbying firm dedicated to killing healthcare reform is throwing a "White Trash" fund raising party.

Classy, no?

The invitation's cover is shown, above.

The body of the invitation says,....

"Hey y'all - get gussied up in your Sunday jorts, mullets, and fullets and come on down to the White Trash Reception.

White Trash Reception
July 19, 2012
5:30 - 9:30 pm
[address clipped]

Grab some suds and grub with Strategic Health Care! Please RSVP (rite so vittles pre-pared) to [email clipped].

Peggy Tighe, Beth Swickard, Jason Gromley, and Kyah Flickinger "

Every link that The Blog has found to this asshole-fest has removed the pertinent info about location and contact info.

That's a shame. Because this is a party that desperately needs crashing.

The multi-millionaires that will be at this party have all got "perrty mouths." And they should be bent over and made to "squeal like pigs."

But, sadly, that won't happen.

The party goers will wallow in their disconnect from the middle class majority.

That's fine.

Will next month's party be a black face, nigger, welfare queen party? Or, maybe a serape and sombrero wearing, lazy wetback siesta fiesta?

I don't know. But, this is the stuff that Republicans believe in.

Do you?


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Geeks!

A shout out to my friends who made it to ComicCon!

I wish I could have been there!

Maybe next year.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Science vs. Not Science

Two interesting stories in the news this week that seem to lend themselves to a perfect "double feature."

Not because of their similarities, but because of their positions on opposite ends of the spectrum.

The scientists at Geneva, Switzerland's CERN (Crazy Experimental Researching Nerds) have announced that they have found the evidence to prove the existence of the Higgs boson particle. A.K.A "The God Particle."

Here is the story.

Now this is all way beyond The Blog's understanding, but I gather that  it means that they have found the sub-atomic particle that all other sub-atomic particles are made of.


                                                            "Science works. Whether you believe in it or not."

The Blog watches "The Big Bang Theory" every week and has read "The DaVinci Code" prequel "Angels and Demons" (And, he might add, has seen the movie!)  so he considers himself an expert on the subject of CERN and the Higgs boson. And, The Blog declares this news to be the most amazing scientific discovery since Snooki's ability to procreate.

CERN actually stands for "The European Organization for Nuclear Research" (Yeah, I don't get it either. I guess it gets lost in the translation.)

In a nutshell, CERN is run by the science geek's science geeks. They invented the "World Wide Web." And, they are the home of "The Large Hadron Collider." (Not to be mistaken for the Small Hadron Collider.) The folks at CERN are The Rolling Stones of the science community.

Considering the amazing scientific advancements that have been openly announced by CERN, The Blog wonders about the things that they don't talk about. If anyone is six months away from inventing a "Star Trek" transporter beam or a time travel machine, it's the CERN scientists.

From the sublime to the ridiculous...

Sad news from the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky.

The museum that tries to put a pseudo-science spin on biblical "Creationism" has run into problems raising the funds to build a neighboring, Noah's "Ark Encounter" theme park.

And that is a real shame! Because, a life size rendering of Noah's Ark, complete with two of every animal (including all the various dinosaurs that the Creation Museum claims shared the Earth with humans 6,000 years ago) has got to be more fun than any old "Wizarding World of Harry Potter!" 

The Blog could take some time to describe the history rewriting awesomeness of the "Creation Museum." But, why not just go and check out their web site for yourself? When it comes to spin, this is better than the Reagan Presidential Library!

The folks behind the Creation Museum are the absolute flip side of the coin that CERN occupies.

While the folks at CERN use scientific principal to discover "The God Particle," the folks at the CM use fake science to rationalize, as fact, stories that even most Christian scholars have called "parables."

Especially the story of Noah's Ark.

In the church that The PC grew up in, we were taught that the story of the ark was so ridiculous that it was, clearly, a case of teaching a lesson via absurdist humor.

I hope that that the Ark Park gets its funding. As long as it isn't from taxpayer's money.

The Blog will be the first in line when they open!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Tonight's Top Story... *UPDATED*

Today, noted rock and roll bad boy Justin Bieber was cited by the California Highway Patrol for driving on the Ventura Freeway in Los Angeles at speeds in excess of 80 mph.

                                                             "That's right! Eat my dust, mother fuckers!"
Here is the story.

Several things about this struck The Blog as interesting.

1.) Bieber claims, by all accounts, truthfully, that he was being chased by paparazzi.

Now, The Blog has been on the chasee end of such chases on several occasions. (No, the paps were not chasing The Blog. But rather, they were chasing The Blog's famous client, who happened to be sharing her vehicle with The Blog.)

The first time it happens, you think, "Holy shit! This is cool!" But, after that first time ends, you start thinking about phrases like "high speed chase" and "Princess Diana." And then, you think about those phrases as part of a single sentence. After that, you react to chases by screaming, "HOLY FUCK! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!"

In other words, being chased by paparazzi is pretty scary.  So, I feel ya, J.B!

But...

b.) The Beebs was driving the car that his manager, Scooter "Scooter" Braun presented to him for his 18th birthday, with the help of Ellen DeGeneres.

Now, Justin, if you want to get from point A to point B in an inconspicuous manner, you could do it better in something other than a $116,000, 2011 Chrome Fisker Karma.

                                                                                          This one.

The Blog has always thought that The Batman should drive a matte black, 1985 Porsche 411. Cool, sporty and fast, with "bat-wing" doors. But, not a car that screams to those it passes, "This is The Batmobile!!!!"

Do you get my point, Justin?

Finally.) J.B. was busted by former motor cop, current Los Angeles city councilman, Dennis Zine. Councilman Zine says that if he was still a cop, he would have arrested Justin for reckless driving.

What's weird about that is that Zine is the author and main proponent of Los Angeles' "Britney's Law," a law that, among other things, holds paparazzi responsible for any possible resulting disaster that such celeb stalking might cause.


                                                                                            This Britney.


                                                                                           Or, this one.


                                                                                      Actually, this one.

The Blog surmises that Councilman Zine just isn't a "Bielieber."

*UPDATE*

One thing has occurred to The Blog.

80+ mph on The Ventura Freeway in the middle of the day? How is that even possible? If you live and drive in L.A., then you know what I'm talking about.



Sunday, July 1, 2012

Random Thoughts

I just pulled a piece of a thorn from one of my "killer palm trees" out of my scalp. I am now bleeding profusely from my head. That will have to stop before I lay my head on a pillow. #baldguysproblems

The "TomKat" marriage is over. If you can't depend on an arranged Scientologist marriage, what can you count on? #sanctityofmarriage and (at the risk of being sued by Tom Cruise,) #beardfail (See: John Travolta)

R.I.P Nora Ephron. A brilliant writer who made chick flick, rom-coms accessible to guys. The queen of "date movies!" (Not to be confused with William Friedkin, director of "The Exorcist." The worst date movie of all time.) My mind is blown to learn that she was 71-years-old! "I'll have what she's having!"  #moviesthatgotguyslaid

Can we stop wringing our hands about "ObamaCare" for a while? Get back to me in 2014 when The Affordable Care Act has been fully implemented. My money says that the majority of Americans will find that it worked out quite well. And, we will all be ready to take it to the next level. i.e. Universal/Single Payer. And, if I am wrong, The Blog will buy all of you a steak dinner at Morton's. (Unless Mrs. Blog's medical bills succeed in bankrupting The Blog household. In which case, you can buy your own damn steak!) #billinventedbyrepublicansespeciallyMittRomney(seeRomneyCareinMass)opposedbecauseobamalikesit