Michelle Bachmann: Final

Okay Blogglitts. The PC is finally ready to put the whole Michelle Bachmann thing to bed.

Have you picked your favorite head-scratchingest parts of her announcement?

Have you pinpointed the most delusional points?

The Blog thought he had it all broken down to a couple of highlights two nights ago. But the fact is, with each subsequent reading of her statement, he feels more and more like Alice after she fell down the rabbit hole.

"Curiouser and curiouser."

So let me see if I can get this over with before I start babbling like the dormouse.

1.) The Statement in it's Entirety.

     Remove the handful of references to the fact that she has decided not to run next       
     year and it reads like a campaign ad rather than a resignation. Scripted,           
     rehearsed, flawlessly lit, seriously post-produced. And, don't forget the soaring               
     music. All it is missing is the tag, "I'm Michelle Bachmann, and I approve this message."
     Which brings us to...

2.) The Medium.

     This sort of announcement is usually made at a mid-morning press conference. A 
     YouTube™ video, posted in the wee hours, in addition to the advantages listed in   
     comment 1, gives the announcement time to go viral in time for the morning news 
     cycle, while avoiding the need to bolt out of the room before those pesky reporters 
     can ask any uncomfortable questions.  It's the same sort of dickish move as  
     breaking up with your girlfriend via voicemail.

     Also, did you notice that there is an ad before the video plays? That's right,  
     Michelle is making a small profit every time someone views the announcement.
     Slick.

3.) The Content.

     From the rambly dissertation about legal and voluntary term limits of   
     Congresspersons and the President to the self-congratulatory back patting.
     From the self-delusion that her past "work" and anything she does in the 18       
     months until she leaves office has had any actual impact on the country,
     (*NOTE* In her time in office, Michelle has passed not one single piece of 
     legislation.) to spending  more than a paragraph towing the party line and riding  
     the coattails of Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan and their   
     "accomplishments."

      And Islamophobia, homophobia and Obamaphobia. The IRS and Benghazi.

4.) The Timing.

      The Blog's favorite part of the statement is the paragraph where, instead of 
      outlining why she has decided not to run again, she lists the reasons that have  
      absolutely nothing to do with her decision. Like, the latest polls that show her 
      approval ratings slipping against anyone who might run against her.
      Or, that not 48 hours earlier, the investigation by the Congressional Ethics 
      Committee and the Department of Justice became a criminal investigation when   
      the FBI got on board.

      (This is a classic narcissist move. Assume that the listener is so stupid that listing 
      the very facts that prove the lie will convince the listener that she is being honest.)

5.) The Preemptive Strike.

    "I fully anticipate the mainstream liberal media to put a detrimental spin on my decision not   
     to seek a fifth term. Since I was first elected  to Congress many years ago, they always seem  
     to attempt to find a dishonest way to disparage me. But I take being the focus of their attention
     and disparagement as a true compliment of my public service effectiveness."

     (Another textbook narcissist move.)

6.) Thanks to Family, God, Supporters, God and 23 Foster Children.

      And God.

And finally...

The most ridiculous, absurd, insane thing about it all?

Michelle has Tea-bagging supporters that still think that she is the shit. And they will continue to support her and her surrogates (Ted Cruz knows it,) and her batshit ideology.

And, Roger Ailes has a six figure contract waiting for her.

                                                                 "Feed your head."

Total Perspective Vortex

So, did you do the homework that The Blog assigned last night?

You did?

Good!

You didn't?

Well then, this is your lucky night.

You, my lazy blogglitts, have another 24 hours to catch up.

Because, it turns out, there are more absurd people in the world than just...

                                                      The Queen of the Tea Baggers.

The PC spent a good chunk of has day, today,  with two of them.

The PC is legally prohibited from discussing his day,

Suffice to say that The PC spent some time, today, in the "Total Perspective Vortex."

Bringing us full circle to some of last weekend's posts.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the "Total Perspective Vortex..."

"The most horrifying form of torture/punishment in the known Universe. The Total Perspective Vortex (it's so mind bogglingly terrifying it even gets Capital Letters) is a small, featureless steel box, barely big enough for one man to stand in.

The hopeless victims stand in the Vortex, and are suddenly shown, for the merest instant, the whole of the Universe: the whole infinity of creation, spanning over several trillion light years, and countless millennia, with an insignificant dot saying "You Are Here".

The victims, totally demoralised by their experience, fall dead from the vortex, wherupon they become the burden of the Vortex' custodian, Pizpot Gargravarr."

The PC managed to emerge from the TPV without "fall[ing] dead." But, he did come out of it experiencing a simultaneous clarity and disorientation, perspective-wise.

After much research, The Blog has determined that the only antidote to this effect is to spend the next hour sipping a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster...

"...like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick..."

 ... followed by a good night's sleep.

See you tomorrow.

There will be a quiz. 

 

Satire & Absurdity: The Sequel

Have you ever known a narcissist?

I don't mean your average, self absorbed egotist.

I mean, a full blown, textbook case, pathological narcissist.

The PC has no idea how common the disorder is in the general population.

It may be that most people make it through life without ever coming into direct contact with a narcissist.

It could be, because The Blog works in Hollywood, he has known more that the average share of them.

Show business attracts narcissists like a "One Direction" concert attracts 12-year-old girls.

"But, Uncle PC," I hear you ask. "What do you mean when you say 'narcissist?'"

The answer is long and complicated. A subject for a post of it's own.

For now, let's just boil it down to a simple definition and say that a narcissist has delusions of grandeur, reenforced by a revolving door of sycophants. He/She believes 110% in his/her superiority while feeling constantly betrayed by those who see differently.

Yeah.

That's good enough for now.

I don't want to stray too far from tonight's point.

The Blog has known enough narcissists, personally and professionally, that he knows one when he sees one.

Politics is full of them.

The Blog would like to claim that political narcissists are all Republicans. But, narcissism is bipartisan.

But, today's GOP certainly has more than their share, right now.

Which, finally, brings me to my point...

Last night, at almost exactly the same time (in a different time zone) that The Blog was posting his comments on the difficulty satirizing current political absurdity...

The poster child for absurdity...

The Grand Dame of Delusion...

The first Congressperson to oppose gay marriage, while in one.

                                                                    "HELLOOOO!"
The Tea Party Princess...

                                                        Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN)

(Or, more likely, a staff member who actually knows how to operate a computer...)

Posted a video to YouTube™ announcing her decision to not seek reelection next year.

If you can stand the sound of her voice for a full 8 minutes and 40 seconds, you can watch her announcement here.

As a public service, The Blog will post the full transcript right here....

"My good friends, after a great deal of thought and deliberation, I have decided next year I will not seek a fifth Congressional term to  represent the wonderful people of the Sixth District of Minnesota. After serious consideration, I am confident that this is the right decision. For some, a single two-year House term is enough service. For others, 10 terms, or two decades in the House is still not enough service.

Our Constitution allows for the decision of the length of service in Congress to be determined by the congresspeople themselves, or by the  voters in the district.
However, the law limits anyone from serving as President of the United States for more than eight years. And in my opionion, well, eight  years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a representative for a specific congressional district.

Be assured, my decision was not in any way influenced by any concerns about my being re-elected to Congress. I’ve always in the past defeated  candidates that were capable, qualified and well-funded. And I have every confidence that if I ran, I would again defeat the individual that I  defeated last year, who recently announced that he is once again running.

And rest assured, this decision was not impacted in any way by the recent inquiries into the activities of my former presidential campaign,  or my former presidential staff. It was clearly understood that compliance with all rules and regulations was an absolute necessity for my  presdiential campaign, and I have no reason to believe that that was not the case.

Last year, after I ran for president, I gave consideration to not running again for the House seat that I hold. However, given that we were  only nine months away from the election, I felt it might be difficult for another Republican candidate to get organized for what might have been a  very challenging campaign. And I refused to allow this decision to put this Republican seat in jeopardy. And so I ran and I won.

And I felt last year the Republicans had a signficant opportunity to win both the Senate and the White House, and finally put our country  back on the track of greatness and American exceptionalism.

That said, different from some, I’ve never considered holding public office to be an occupation. I’ve considered it to be both an honor and  a privelege, but most importantly, a signficant responsibility. And even when it means resisting the policy positions of many in my own  political party, I’ve always strived to be first and foremost a public servant and do what is best for the people and never acquiesce to being  a political servant. There’s a difference.

Feel confident, over the next 18 months, I will continue to work 100-hour weeks, and I will continue to do everything that I can to advance our  conservative constitutional principles that have served the bedrock for who we are as a nation.

And I will continue to work vehemently and robustly to fight back against what most in the other party want to do, to transform our country  into becoming, which would be a nation that our founders would hardly even recognize today.

I proudly have, and I promise you I will continue, to fight to protect innocent human life, traditional marriage, family values, religious  liberty and academic excellence, whether working in a bi-partisan way to finally gain federal approval to finally build an immensely significant  and long overdue bridge in our district, working to reopen a much needed regional aiport in our district, being the primary sponsor of the bill  that recently passed in the House to repeal Obamacare, to recently flying to London to be one of three people to represent the United States of  America at the funeral of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, who, among her other accomplishments, together with Ronald Reagan, was responsible  for bringing down the Soviet Union, to working to alleviate all the stifling economic restrictions that banks and businesses must now endure  since the enactment of Dodd-Frank legislation.

I’ve called out the Muslim jihad terrorists for who they are, and for the evil that they perpetrate upon our people. And I’ve demanded that  this administration never, under any circumstances, subordinate our national security for the administration’s weak version of political  correctness.

I’ve identified at the outset of the so-called Arab Spring, this adminsitration’s foriegn policy blunders and how those blunders have  contributed into turning the Middle East into a devastating, evil, jihadist earthquake.

I’ve pointed out this administration’s dispicable treatment toward our great friend and ally Israel, and at the same time giving little more  than lip service to the ever-increasing and dangerous nuclear threat of Iran, making publicly clear this administration’s outrageous lack of  action in Benghazi, Libya, and the subsequent political coverup which resulted in the deaths of four honorable, dedicated public servants.

I’ve also called out this administration, and the Treasury Department, for allowing and perhaps even for encouraging partisan, selective  enforcement against American citizens based upon their political beliefs that aren’t in line with those of the administration.
I’ve also demanded, consistently, a balanced budget and fiscal responsibility, that this be a preeminent government requirement, so as to  avoid the dangers of a future, a financial calamity for our children and the ultimate risk of the destruction of our entire economic system.  May it never be.

My core of conviction on these principal issues and more will continue, in a steadfast manner, during the remainder of my term and beyond.  Because, you see my decision to seek federal office, both in my initial running for the House, and my decision to run for the presidency of the  United States was based solely on my heartfelt concern for our country’s future.

Unfortunately, today I am even more concerned about our country’s future than I have ever been in the past. On so many issues, we’re  clearly on the wrong track.

But looking forward, after the completion of my term, my future is full, it is limitless, and my passions for America will remain. And I  want you to be assured that there is no future option or opportunity, be it directly in the political arena or otherwise, that I won’t be  giving serious consideration if it can help save and protect our great nation for future generations.

I fully anticipate the mainstream liberal media to put a detrimental spin on my decision not to seek a fifth term. Since I was first elected  to Congress many years ago, they always seem to attempt to find a dishonest way to disparage me. But I take being the focus of their attention  and disparagement as a true compliment of my public service effectiveness.

To my many good friends and supporters, I will continue fight for public policy that is first and foremost in the best interest of the  citizens of the United States at large. To my detractors, my work continues for your best interests as well.

I especially want to thank my wonderful husband Marcus, for 35 terrific years, our five children, our 23 foster children, my family, you my  loyal supporters and all the people in the Sixth Congressional District for this unbelievable opportunity to serve all of you for these years.

And I want to thank God for his blessings upon the United States of America. You see it is God who has given me the strength, the conviction  and the personal fortitude to fight to enhance the safety, security, longevity and well being of our blessed nation, the United States of  America.

I say to each one of you, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America."

So, what is absurd about this?

Certainly not her decision walk away from the office.

Shit, that's probably the sanest thing she has done in... well... maybe, ever.

Posting the announcement at around 2:30 AM EDT?

Weird.

But, not absurd.

No.

It's the content of the speech.

You should read it.

Several times.

Let it all sink in.

Now, let's play a game.

(Because, frankly, after reading and listening to this several times in a row, myself, The Blog's head is spinning. So, he just can't go on any longer, tonight.)

So, put on your critical thinking caps and figure out for yourselves what it is about this that is both absurd and narcissistic.

Check back tomorrow night and we will compare notes. 

Satire Isn't Dead. It's Just Not Feeling Well

This past Sunday, DailyKos.com blogger David Harris Gershon, aka: "The Troubadour" posted a satirical piece titled...

The Onion Calls it Quits

Go. Check it out. I'll wait.

But, remember. The story isn't true. It's satire.

Did you read it?

Good.

Did I mention that it was a satirical, fake news story?

Now.

Go back and read it again. 

Seriously.

I'll still be here when you get back.

Go.

Okay. See? I told you I would still be here.

Because, if you can't trust your Uncle PC, who can you trust?

That post may be The Blog's all time favorite satirical blog post.

I did mention that that was satire. Right?

But, the point of the fake story is spot on (as The Blog's UK friends would say.)

The PC has been saying it for at least a year or so.

It is getting harder and harder to distinguish actual, factual news stories from those stories written by The Onion or any of it's fellow satirical publications and websites like The Daily Currant, Freewood Post or The New Yorker's Borowitz Report.

Because truth, it turns out, is weirder than fiction.

Case in point...

Today, The Huffington Post gave us the following headline...

Lindsey Graham Tweets 'Dibs' On John McCain's Office 'If He Doesn't Make It Back' From Syria

And, seriously, you can't parody that which is so absurd that it can't be parodied.

Read the whole story here.

It's a whole layer cake of absurdity.

While John McCain is "palling around with terrorists," Lindsay Graham is calling dibs on Grampy's office.

And, it's true!

Does this make life hard for satirists?

Well.... yeah.

Mark Twain couldn't make this shit up.

If you have been following The Blog since day one, or have caught up with his past, archived posts, you know that making fun of the absurdities of the world was The Blog's original intent.

But, holy shit! Republicans are making creative satire difficult for amateur wits like me.

Like The Onion, The PC will keep on trying.

Neither one of us is going anywhere.

(Did I make it clear that the story about The Onion ceasing publication was fact free satire?)

In the meantime, The Blog hopes that, when he isn't writing laser focused satire, but rather, posting half inebriated columns about rock bands or television shows, or full on blotto shares of tear-jerking videos, you will still enjoy.

Ernest Hemingway said, "Write drunk. Edit sober."

With all do respect to the most manly author in American history...

Hemingway was a pussy.

The PC says, "Write drunk, then hit 'publish.'"

Boo-Yah!

Trump 2016?

This just in...

As the ratings for his "reality" TV show flag, Donald Trump has made the predicable, next level move in an attempt to remain relevant and raise his speaking fees.

The Donald has leaked the news that he is exploring the possibility of a run for president in 2016.

Read about it at Huffpo.

And, because there is nothing else going on in the world, the mainstream, corporate media, having, perhaps, grown bored with speculation that Hillary Clinton will run in 2016, is running with the story.

Seems legit.

But, The Blog is not worried.

Trump is a relentless self-promoter who knows how to keep his name in the headlines.

His supposed run for president reminds The PC of other famous presidential campaigns.

                                                                        Pat Paulson.

Dave Barry. (Who, The Blog would vote for in a New York minute before he would vote for most serious candidates.)


And, of course, the myriad cartoon characters who have run.

                                                                              Snoopy.

                                                                  Alfred E. Newman


And, of course,

                                                                      Herman Cain
And..

                                                                      Newt Gingrich.


So, The Blog is not ready to get his panties in a bunch over a Trump candidacy.

(Not that The Blog is wearing panties. And, but, NTTAWWT!)

Not yet, anyway.

But, The PC does harbor some trepidation.

After all, two of the most absurd cartoon characters to ever run for the office of President of The United States, actually won and served two terms...

Memorial Day 2013

The Blog stumbled across the following on the interwebs, today...

"This weekend we honor those who gave their lives in military service. Let's make it a priority to honor our commitments to the living veterans who have served us so bravely. A large percentage of the homeless are veterans ho haven't received the proper support promised to them."

I do not know who to attribute this to. If anyone knows who wrote this, please let us know in the comments section.

Memorial Day may not be the proper time for cynicism.

But, this blog is certainly the place for it. 

So, this Memorial Day, let us take some time to not only remember those who died defending our freedom, but also, those who died defending our corporate interests and our jingoistic ideologies.

Let us remember the "last man to die for a mistake."

And let's rally support for those who came home alive, if not in one piece.

The "wounded warriors."

Those wounded physically and emotionally.

Please take a moment to absorb the sentiments of the official political satirist, folk singer of the PC Blog...

                                                                     Roy Zimmerman.

We Americans think of Memorial Day as many things.

The unofficial first day of summer.

A day of nationalistic parades, fairs and carnivals.

Bar-B-Q Day.

But, Memorial Day is not a day of celebration.

It is a day of reflection and, well, memorials.

For our fallen solders, yes.

But also for our solders who are still standing.

So, how can we best support out troops?

Let's bring 'em home.

The President has done a good job of setting that action into motion.

But, enough fucking around.

It's time to kick into high gear.

Okay,

Enough of the downer stuff.

The Blog wants to mark Memorial Day 2013 with some happy making stuff.

So, how about some uplifting reunion videos?

Have a Kleenex™ box of Kleenexes™ ready.

Reunion Video

Reunion Video: Dog Edition

And, just to finish it all off with a pure laugh...



This.

Towel Day 2013: Bonus Music

"H2G2" made excellent use of a couple of pieces of music, in it's radio, television and film incarnations.

Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World."

*Note to The Blog Jr. and any other future descendants. "

Consider this my living will.

After my passing...

 ...a celebration of my life...

 (because, no funeral, please,)

... should begin with the playing of a recording of this song.

And, when the memorial ends...

... Raise the roof and kick out the jams with the Joey Ramone version.

An in the middle...

(Oh God, The PC hates The Eagles. Seriously. If I never hear "Hotel California" again, as long as I live, it will be too soon. But...)

As the cremated ashes of the parts of my corporeal body that could not be donated to those who could use them to improve and prolong their own lives, are launched into the night sky in a spectacular pyrotechnic display...

(because, no grave site burial, please,)

...It feels appropriate to accompany the fireworks with the strains of The Eagles' "Journey of the Sorcerer," aka: The Theme from "H2G2."

The simple, quiet banjo, and then...

WHOOSH! POW! BANG!

... as the song explodes with soaring, symphonic harmony.

Shit.

Sorry if I turned this into a downer.

                                               "Life? Don't talk to me about life."

But, yeah.

That is how I want to go. 
 


But, cheer up!

Or, more appropriately...

Don't Panic!

I'm not looking for this to happen for another 50 years or so.

Thanks.






For now, just enjoy the music.

Towel Day 05.25.13

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.


A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might have accidentally "lost.". What the strag will think is that any man that can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)    -- excerpted from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams

Sass me, my hoopy froods.

Tomorrow is Towel Day.

Or today, depending on your time zone.

Or maybe, yesterday, last month or 42 years ago, depending on when you are reading this. 

Douglas Adams, whose life and work we are celebrating, had a few things to say about time, relativity and digital watches, in his books/radio show/television series/movie...

                                              "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

                    "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so." -- Ford Prefect

If you know what The Blog is talking about, then you know what The Blog is talking about.

If you don't know what The Blog is talking about, how the hell did you wind up here?

That's okay. The PC is about to introduce you to one of the great joys of living on the ("Mostly Harmless") planet Earth.

Turn your computer off.

Get your ass down to your local book seller.

Or public library.

Or your eReader store.

And start reading "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," right now.

Or, you could do a search for the original radio show.

The BBC television series is available on DVD, probably Netflix, and The Blog wouldn't be surprised if you can find it on YouTube or Hulu, for free.

Avoid the Disney produced movie, for the time being.

While it has it's merits...

                                            ...including the presence of Zooey Deschanel...


... The movie isn't the best introduction to "H2G2" for the newbie.

(The fact that the ready made franchise never made it to the first sequel attests to that.)

In the meantime...

Let us raise a glass,

Whether a glass of jynnan tonnyx...

"It is a curious fact, and one to which no one knows quite how much importance to attach, that something like 85% of all known worlds in the Galaxy, be they primitive or highly advanced, have invented a drink called jynnan tonnyx, or gee-N'N-T'N-ix, or jinond-o-nicks, or any one of a thousand or more variations on the same phonetic theme. The drinks themselves are not the same, and vary between the Sivolvian "chinanto/mnigs" which is ordinary water served at slightly above room temperature, and the Gagrakackan "tzjin-anthony-ks" which kills cows at a hundred paces; and in fact the one common factor between all of them, beyond the fact that the names sound the same, is that they were all invented and named before the worlds concerned made contact with any other worlds."

... A Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster...

"[The Hitchhiker's Guide] says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."

... or a hot cup of something that is, "almost, but not quite entirely, unlike tea..."

... and toast the memory of Douglas Adams. Author, satirist, early computer geek, "militant atheist," and even more militant advocate for the planet Earth and it's most endangered species.

Douglas, you are deeply missed!

And, "Thanks for all the fish."

KISS: For Your Entertainment (FYE)

Your old Uncle PC has spent the last 20 hours or so working with drag queens, trans-genders with beard stubble and crack-heads, so cut him some slack.

There will be nothing earth-shattering in tonight's post.

Last night, The Blog waxed poetic about his fave rock band, KISS.

In that post, he talked about the formerly lame disco classic, "I Was Made For Loving You," and it's epic redemption via the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra backing "The Hottest Band in the World."

So, because The Blog does not have a fuck to give, tonight, about anything that actually matters in the world...

The PC will fill tonight's post with a couple of video clips of a couple of his favorite KISS Symphony in Melbourne, Australia concert clips.

KISS and the orchestra cranks it up to eleven with the iconic...

Rock and Roll All Night

And two numbers from the inimitable Peter "Catman" Criss...

The original "power ballad"

Beth

And...

The PCs all time favorite KISS song...

Black Diamond.

Dynasty

The Blog is exhausted tonight.

Exhausted by a long, ugly day at work.

(And, when The Blog says "ugly" he means that literally.)

Exhausted, and too, by the ongoing spew from the Right-Wing and the Westborough Baptists and other pseudo-Christians, in the wake of the Oklahoma tornadoes.

So, before bed, The PC will go light and easy tonight, with a little something about one of his favorite rock bands.

If you are a loyal blogglitt, you know that The PC is a geeky Batman fanboy.

But, you may or may not know that he is also a huge fan of KISS.

Which, if you think a bit, makes sense.

Black leather and spandex.

Check.

Capes.

Check.

Secret identities and hidden faces.

Check and check.

Th Blog probably isn't the biggest KISS fan on Earth.

                                                     He does not sport any KISS tattoos.

And, while he owns truckloads of KISS "collectable"  merchandise...


He does not own the KISS casket.



But, yeah.

The Blog is a KISS fan.

Tomorrow, (or today, or yesterday, depending on your time zone,) marks the 34th anniversary of the release of KISS' "Dynasty" album.

                                                                 Holy shit! 34 years!

By the time "Dynasty" was released, the band's best and most classic work was already behind them. They had a few high points after that, but those high points have been sporadic.

Music critics have always dismissed KISS as gimmicky and commercial.

But, the fact is, after their first three, straight forward, cranium crushing, hard rock albums, KISS became nearly as experimental as more famously experimental recording artists like Frank Zappa.

"KISS: Alive!" was one of the first two disc, live performance albums. (A rock staple, ever after.)

"Rock and Roll Over" was recorded in an auditorium with "live, ambient acoustics," instead of a multi-track recording studio.

"Love Gun" was an early experiment in the genre of the "concept album." A vague concept, to be sure. Not as coherent as The Who's earlier "rock operas." Or later recordings by "The Alan Parsons Project."

But, "Love Gun" was a pioneer, conceptualizing (The Blog is making an educated guess, here,) a tribute to Gene Simmons' penis.

"Dynasty" was another experiment.

By 1979, Casablanca Records, "the record label that KISS built," was making a fortune producing disco icons, Donna Summer, Cher, and The Village People.

So, in hindsight,  it only makes sense that the hard rocking KISS would dip a toe into the world of disco.

                                                      Or, as they called it, "KISS-co."

"I Was Made For Loving You."

The young PC hated to admit it, but at the time, KISS had totally sold out.

*Although, in an era of The BeeGees and K.C. and the Sunshine Band, "IWMFLY" did give The young Blog the opportunity to work the dance floor with some degree of white boy confidence.*

It's weird, but 34 years later, The PC took a glance at the liner notes from "Dynasty..."

And, for being an album that he knew, front to back, at the time, can only remember three of the songs from the album.

"2000 Man," "Sure Know Something" and "I Was Made For Loving You."

The rest is a blur. The passage of time sure does weird shit to the memory.

Even weirder, "I Was Made For Loving You" has evolved in The PC's mind from lame pandering to a disco audience, to a classic tune of the time.

In the dozen or so live KISS concerts that The Blog has attended in as many years, the song seems better, performed live, than it was when it was first recorded.

But, the real crossing point happened a few years ago, when KISS performed a concert in Australia, backed by the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra.

That was when "Dynasty's" lame, pandering, sell-out, disco hit, magically transformed into an epic, classic.

Enjoy, as The PC does.

It Sure Ain't Easy

Seriously.

What does a blog have to say to be outrageous and offensive, anymore?

God knows The PC tries.

But, how can I write snarky, politically incorrect, satire when, less than 12 hours later, life (or some cold, soulless, animatronic, Republican simulation of life) imitates art (or whatever you want to call The Blog's self indulgent rants?)

Last night, The Blog predicted, in what he thought was a "too soon" politicization of
the Moore, OK tornado disaster, that Oklahoma Senators Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn, would exercise both their First and Second Ammendment rights and shoot themselves in the nuts, no matter how they responded to their home state's disaster.

The PC kind of felt bad about going there.

But, holy shit, today they both chimed in, each with their own unique view, and managed to remove the testicles from The Blog's biting sarcasm.

First off, Sen. Inhofe explains why aid to Moore will be "different" than aid to Sandy victims.

Watch his explanation here.

What does Sen. Inhofe mean by that?

Fucked if I know.

And then, there is Sen. Coburn's brave position.

A bit of background, before The PC shares a link to Coburn's comments...

Tom Coburn is a "lame duck" Senator. He will not be running for another term after his current stint is over.

That means, no matter what position he takes on aid to his constituents, he can't lose.

He could have said, "Fuck my Republican peers. Some people in my state need serious help, so call me a hypocrite, if you want to, but let's get this done."

He could have said that. But, he didn't.

Instead, he stuck to his ideological guns and pledged to deny his people aid unless it was offset by other federal spending cuts.

And, when Republicans talk about spending cuts, we all know what they are talking about.

Coburn is on board with helping the people of his state in the aftermath of a disaster, just as long as the people of his state (and the rest of America) give up healthcare and welfare to pay for that help.

Read about it here.

This officially makes Sen. Tom Coburn The PC's "Asshole of the Week."

But wait! There's more!

Because the Asshole of the Week is incapable of embarrassment or shame...

After critics slammed his despicable position, a press release from his office doubled down, without any awareness of the irony, called Coburn's critics "crass."

The Blog, last night, didn't bother predicting the response of the so-called "Christian Right," because...

Well...

It is just to damned predictable.

The Oklahoma tornado is the fault of Liberals and support for the gays.

The PC would link to those stories, but fuck it.

It's too easy to Google those stories.

Go find them yourselves.

Surprisingly, the right Rev. Pat Robertson has been pretty quiet in the last 24 hour news cycle.

But, he really doesn't have to check in.

Robertson, who, at this point, is one magic ring short of being Gollum...

...opened his chuckling pie hole about a year ago, regarding Oklahoma's last tornado.

So, I think we know where he stands.

Finally...

Last night, The Blog made this comment about paranoid conspiracy theory panderer, Alex Jones.

"The Blog will not be surprised if, by this time tomorrow night, Alex Jones will have thrown the "false flag" flag, calling the Oklahoma tornado a government conspiracy to distract from... oh... whatever.

The PC just can't spend more than a few seconds in the dark place that is the mind of Alex Jones and his disciples without losing pieces of his soul."

                                               Because, "Government weather weapons."



Alex did not disappoint.

Oklahoma

Probably not much funny stuff, tonight.

Probably not even fun stuff.

By now, we have all heard about the devastating tornado that hit Moore, OK today.

Registering a massive tornado measurement of E.F. 4 (I think that's correct. The PC is not fluent in Tornadoese,) the entire Oklahoma City suburb has been laid to waste. At this writing, 51 dead. Countless injuries. And, a few miraculous stories of survival.

The PC is grateful to learn that his handful of Oklahoma based friend are okay. 

Pray for the people of Moore, if you feel inclined.

It couldn't hurt.

But, take some time from praying and actually do something that matters.

Here are two good ways to donate and make a real difference.

The Blog really does not want to politicize this, but he just can't help himself.

The "gentlemen" from Oklahoma, Senators Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn, have a recent history of voting to deny other states government help.

Much like Texas Governor Rick Perry, who also opposed federal funding for disaster relief, then found himself with hat in hand after the West, TX fertilizer plant disaster, Sens. Inhofe and Coburn are finding themselves in the awkward position of either landing on the wrong side of their constituents (aka: voters,) or showing themselves to the entire country to be base hypocrites.

According to The Huffington Post...

Sens. Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn, both Republicans, are fiscal hawks who have repeatedly voted against funding disaster aid for other parts of the country. They also have opposed increased funding for the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), which administers federal disaster relief.

You can read the whole story here.

But, it is their good fortune that Pres. Obama has saved themselves some of that humiliation by wasting no time in promising all possible federal help to the region.

The Blog will not be surprised if, by this time tomorrow night, Alex Jones will have thrown the "false flag" flag, calling the Oklahoma tornado a government conspiracy to distract from... oh... whatever.

The PC just can't spend more than a few seconds in the dark place that is the mind of Alex Jones and his disciples without losing pieces of his soul.
                  ____________________________________________________________

But, in a related topic...

While the tornado news dominates the American media, many of you may have missed this fact...

Mother Earth has been throwing other temper tantrums all over the world.

In the last 24 hours, Chile has endured several 6.0+ earthquakes (the largest being 6.8) as has Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskiy, Russia, half way around the world.

Those are some big quakes, people.

Not good.
            _______________________________________________________________

In other unpleasant news of the day...

Ray Manzerek, founding member and keyboardist for The Doors, passed away today at the age of 74.

Ray was the band's only real musician...

(Jim Morrison was a poet, and not a very good one, at that.)

*Sorry Doors fans. The PC is just calling it as he sees it.*
________________________________________________________________

BREAKING NEWS

The Blog's "Quake Feed" app has just informed him that Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskiy, Russia has just had another 6.0 quake.

That makes six in the last 12 hours.

The Blog doesn't know what sort of population, um, populates Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskiy, Russia.

Hopefully not a lot.

Because, HOLY SHIT!!!

Evidently, The Blog will have to give in and pay the $1.99 for the version of the "Quake Feed" app that will allow him to narrow notifications to his own SoCal area.

Because The PC really doesn't need to be awakened by the "notification" chime of his iPhone™ at all hours.
__________________________________________________________________

Finally...

Tomorrow is election day in Los Angeles.

Angelians will be electing a new mayor.

Because The Blog lives in an incorporated suburb of L.A., he can't vote for L.A.'s mayor.

But, because he lives and works in the shadow of The City of Angels, what happens in L.A. does effect him and his suburb, and his business.

Both candidates are Democrats. So there is that.

But, L.A.'s most recent mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa, also a Democrat, turned out to be a grave disappointment to his supporters,

The Blog views both candidates, Wendy Greuel and Eric Garcetti, with some trepidation.

Both have their pluses and minuses.

The Blog can only hope that his eligible voter friends in L.A. will get out and vote.

Bonus Post!

A couple of posts ago, The Blog said that the TV show "Psych" was one of the few shows that still has a good, old fashioned theme song.

By making that comment, The PC unfairly ignored another great television show that has an awesome, iPod™ worthy theme song.

About a decade ago, The Blog had the pleasure of attending the Spike TV "up front" in NYC.

The "up front" featured the cast of The PC's own show "VIP" and a musical performance by The Barenaked Ladies, performing their mega-hit, "One Week."

Call them a "one hit wonder" if you must.

But, a few years later, The Barenaked Ladies were tapped by Chuck Lorre to write and perform the theme song for the best sitcom on TV today.

The Big Bang Theory.

Enjoy this performance at the 2011 ComicCon.

When Dogs are Outlawed...

It arrived in today's mail. As it does, at this time, every year.

The oppressive, freedom hating, over-reaching gu'mint demand that The PC...

*dramatic pause*

... register his dog.

Which inspired the following graphic, which The Blog hopes that his blogglitts will steal and share, making your Uncle PC's beagle/Jack Russell mix, (Bussell?) Lady Guinevere, aka: Jenny, the next Facebook meme and the biggest thing since Grumpy Cat.

The Blog hears you.

You are saying, "Okay, we get it. You're making fun of the gun nuts, here. But, the Second Ammendment guarantees the right to bare arms. The Constitution says nothing about dog ownership."

And, you would be correct.

But, The Declaration of Independence addresses the subject of "the pursuit of happiness."

And The PC maintains that the right to own a dog falls under that philosophy.

The Blog will reregister his beloved pup. As he does every year, without complaint.

Because it is good for society and good for Jenny.

_____________________________________________________

On a vaguely related topic.

The PC received something else in today's mail.

His federal tax refund.

WOO-HOO!!!

Bruce Tinsley and his asshole cartoon duck can kiss The Blog's flabby, white, liberal ass.

#Facepalm

As the big three Obama scandals fold like so many, "Made in Bangladesh," cheap shirts...

The Right-Wing noise machine clings to one more argument, with the same, half hearted passion, that Kate Winslet held on to Leo Dicaprio with.

As the Benghazi, AP/ ATT, and IRS "scandals" sink like the Titanic, the TeaPublicans hold tight to the floating door frame that is...

                                                       "Umbrellagate!!!!"

Jesus Howard Fucking Christ!

Have the Republicans become this desperate?

Of course, they have.

Like the Republicans of the Clinton era, today's Repubs are going for the "kitchen sink" strategy.

The Repubs of the Clinton years tried, "drug smuggler," "murderer," "real estate swindler," and "rapist" without success.

Today's Repugs have tried, "Un-American," "Anti-Christian," "Socialist," (and here is where it becomes interestingly ironic) supporter of unconstitutional policies put in place by the GWB administration.

The difference?

The Clinton era Rethugs came across a dress that Clinton came across.

(Yes, The PC went there.)

As far as anyone knows, so far, Pres. Obama has managed to keep his, presumably, stereotypically, politically incorrect, gigantic Mandingo penis in his pants.

So sad for the Repubs Repugs Rethugs...

DAMN!

The Blog has used up every trite, shitty play on the Republican name.

So what should I call them now?

Oh! I've got it!

"Hypocritical, obstructionist, bullshit, tea-bagging, 'morans.'"

That works.

Whatever we call them, they have nothing left.

Except for a story about an umbrella. (As Casey Kasem might have dubbed it.)

We call a bunch of lions "a pride."

A bunch of owls, "a wisdom."

A bunch of geese, "a gaggle."

So, what should we call a bunch of internet memes?

The PC is thinking that we should call them...

                                                                  "A Takei of memes."


I like it.

Feel free to use it. No royalties will be charged

Here is a Takei of umbrella memes...

And, here is a blog post by a retired Marine that sums the whole thing up.

Moving on...
_____________________________________________________

There was a time, in the not so distant past, that, in order to be on the radio, whether as a music disc jockey or a talking head, one had to have a license from the FCC.

Howard Stern has an FCC license.

For better or worse, so do Rick Dees and his punk-ass usurper Ryan Seacrest.

Stephanie Miller, Randi Rhodes, Thom Harman, Dr. Rachel Maddow and Ed Shultz...

FCC licensed.

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Glen Beck?

Not a single FCC license among them.

Regardless, (because "irregardless" is not a word,) they have radio shows.

And, in these modern times, any asshole with an opinion can have an internet "radio" show.

(Or, *ahem* a blog.)

                                               Which brings us to the topic of Pete Santilli.



"Radio host?" or "Internet radio host?"

Does the distinction matter?

Whatever.

Pete Santilli is a radio (or internet radio) host who fills the demographic void left by those who don't think that tin-foil hat, conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is paranoid enough for.

                                                            Alex, "Tin-Foil Hat" Jones

Check out the batshit ravings of Pete Santilli. (Motto.. "Come for the fucktard anti-government rants. Stay for the misogynic, violent rhetoric."

Did you click on that link?

Did you get his wish to "shoot Hillary Clinton in the vagina?"

The PC only wishes that he was imaginative enough to make that shit up.

Yep. Any asshole dick-weed can have a talk show, these days.

On the radio or on the interwebs.

But, Santilli, (which is latin for "a tumorous scrotal cancer," ) isn't the only asshole to make such moronic statements.

Back in 2008, Michael Reagan, the result of the seminal discharge of former president Saint Ronnie  Reagan, made similar comments, regarding Muslim babies and their mothers.

Guns and vaginas were not involved.

No.

Grenades, babies and rectums were the topic.

So, that was different then.

Or not.

Seriously...

The Blog is self aware enough to understand that he is a sick and twisted puppy.

But, the shit that comes from the far right, makes The PC throw up in his mouth, a little.

The PC wishes he was wrong, on the subject of Heaven and Hell.

Because a having faith that there is a special place in Hell for pustulant penises like Pete Santilli, Michael Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin and Glen Beck would make The Blog feel better about life, in general.