Some Rambling About Music

When I was a kid, my mom was adamant that I learn the piano. I had a great piano teacher, Mrs. Marquard, who I remember with affection. I guess I was competent, but I wasn't great.

I wish, in hindsight, that I had been better at it.

Because, who doesn't own a party like someone who can play piano?

When school band came along, I chose the trombone.

In a recent conversation about the topic, a new friend asked me, "Why the trombone?" I answered, "I really don't know." I really wanted to be a drummer, like Ringo Starr, Keith Moon, Micky Dolenz and my grandfather. My parents steered me away from that. Although, they did buy me a "practice pad" and a set of bongos. In hindsight, again, I get that. I have a neighbor kid who plays the drums. She is pretty good, but, oh, the noise!

So, about the trombone.

Maybe it was about cool people like Tommy Dorsey.

Or, maybe, the whole slidey thing was weird enough to appeal to me.

Again, I was competent, but not great.

But, by the time I was in college, I had lost interest and sold my 'bone.

A few years ago, I picked up a prop trombone on a set I was working on.

The sound that came out was sad and scary. My "chops" are long gone.

For a brief time, in high school, I flirted with the guitar. But, practicing until my fingers bled didn't work for me.

As an adult, I wish that I had learned the saxophone.

Because there is no instrument that is sexier than the sax.

But the truth is, as much as I love music, I am not musical.

At heart, I am a hard rocker. KISS, Cooper, Ozzy, AC/DC...

Those are my jams.

But, I also love classical, swing, do-wop, bubble gum, punk and Broadway musicals.

I have to accept that, at my age, I will never be a rock star.

But I still entertain one small fantasy.

That, one night, someone will put enough alcohol in me that I can be coaxed onto a stage for some karaoke.

And I will sing "Mack the Knife," "What I Like About You," "(You Shook Me) All Night Long," and "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."

                          That's right. I want to emulate a fat, sweaty, Republican. So sue me.


And I will kill each and every one of them, like a boss.

I can dream, can't I?