Super Bowl Wrap Up XLVIII: For Reals

"Is there anything more American than America?" -- Bob Dylan

WTF? 

Your Uncle PC has spent two evenings catching up with all the Super Bowl™ commercials that he missed on Sunday, thanks to the always reliable folks at Time Warner Cable.

*Side Note*

This post, almost, didn't get posted tonight.

Why?

Because at about 11:30 PM TWC's internet went balls up.

For about an hour.

The Blog rebooted his cable modem and his router several times. To no avail.

Then, as suddenly as it went away, it came back.

Jezzus fuck! I'm really starting to hate on Time Warner.

As if I have a choice.

*End Side Note*

Ironically, one of the bestest, most star-studded, Special F/X laden commercials to air during the big game was the one that wants us to believe that TWC is the best cable provider ever.

The commercials have always been the best thing about the Super Bowl™.

Which is why The Blog is in a bit of a funk, tonight.

I'll be honest with you. Because your Blog is always honest with you...

This years commercial offerings were under-whelming.

All cute puppies and nostalgia.

And about that nostalgia...

Jerry Seinfeld staged a mini-reunion with Jason Alexander and Wayne Knight that mostly served to remind us that we are all getting old. I don't even know what they were advertising.

So many of the ads tried to be epic but, somehow, missed the mark.

Bud Light™ staged an elaborate prank on an unsuspecting shlub that should have been awesome.

Limos, gorgeous twins, (a whole party of them,) Don Cheadle and a llama, and then...

                                                         What the actual fuck was this?

The aging stars in silly wigs worked so much better in the Radio Shack ad. 

(More on that in a bit.)

The Blog likes it when Super Bowl™ ads push the envelope and tip toe on the line of offensive.

But, unless you are a moronic, jingoistic, Teapublican bigot, working up a bunch of butt-hurt over Coca-Cola's "America the Beautiful" ad...

This years Super Bowl™ commercials were no more offensive than, well, the Bronco's offensive line.

Sorry Denver, but you know it's true.

John Turturro, puppets and an small business entrepreneur quitting her day job.

No Hootersesque bimbos?

No Danica Patrick?

Not even some Jillian Michaels implied "girl on girl" action?

GoDaddy.com, I don't even know you anymore!

The Doritos™ ads delivered their usual YouTube™ friendly stuff.

But, mostly...

Meh.

So, what were The Blog's winning ads in a sea of mediocrity?

As I mentioned above, the TWC ad was pretty good.

I liked the Rob Riggle/ James Franco Ford commercial. 

Honorable Mention goes to Fox's promo for their own upcoming show...

The return of the best bad show on television...

"24: Live Another Day"

A wordless spot featuring Kiefer Sutherland propping up a worse for wear Mary Lynn Rajskub.

God I love Mary Lynn Rajskub! Is it weird that I find nerdy women hot?

I make no apologies.

I mentioned Budweiser's "Puppy Love" spot in an earlier post.

As a "Big Bang Theory" fan, I wanted to love Kia's Johnny Galecki ad and Priceline's Kaley Cuoco spot. But I didn't, really.

The Blog's clear winner of the Super Bowl™ was Radio Shack's self depreciating homage to the '80s.

I have watched this spot, maybe, a half dozen times, and like a brilliant "Where's Waldo" I am still finding things that I didn't see the first time.