Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Newt, The Zombie Apocalypse and a Bikini Model

Shit got crazy at The National Rifle Association's annual conference in St. Louis, this week.

(Yeah, yeah, yeah. CRAZIER. I know and I'm with you.)

Look.... The Blog gets the whole gun thing. In his life, he has shot the shit out of his share of paper targets and tin cans. That is part of what he finds so disturbing about the gun obsessed. There is a definite rush of macho power when you pull that trigger and unleash a lead ball of death. I can see how it could become addictive. Hell, if you put a Colt Magnum in the hands of Mahatma Gandhi, he would dare you to "make (his) day!"

But, really. Could anything be crazier than a convention of gun nuts enthusiasts who think that they should be allowed to own fully automatic weapons to hunt rabbit, or crazier, ward off the army of a rogue gummint?

Yes. In fact. Things could be crazier.

Exhibit A.)  Zombie Shooting Targets Popular With Doomsday Preppers At National Rifle Association Exhibition

In an earlier post, The Blog talked about his encounter with a gun shop selling racially tinged paper targets. But, according to the above article, this years best sellers are zombie targets, zombie bullets and zombie gun paint (whatever the fuck that is) and, oh yeah, blood bags to make shooting the zombie targets more realistic.

Now the Curmudgeon hates to actually sound like his nom de blog, but he knows something about "first person shooter" video games and their trick of making it okay to blow the heads off bad guys... by making them aliens or zombies.

Psychologists say that this practice dehumanizes "the other," making it okay to inflict senseless violence on the enemy, desensitizing people to killing. It seems that they may be onto something.

It seems that the gun industry has taken it to the next level, making firing actual guns at sub-humans the norm. (There is probably a joke about intolerance for zombieism here, but it is too obvious, even for me, to stoop to it.)

Now, I hear you! You're saying, "But, Uncle PC, things can't get any crazier than this!"

And Uncle PC will tell you, "Sweet, naive bloglitt, that is where you are wrong!"

Because, Exhibit B.) Just when it couldn't get any weirder, presidential candidate Newt Gingrich arrives with his layer cake of batshitery, causing The Blog to ask the question, "Newt Gingrich still thinks he's a presidential candidate?!?!?!"

Let's take a moment to look at Newt's history of self delusion. (These are a few examples, but by no means, a complete list.)

"President" Newt (*snork*) is a fiscal conservative who will balance the budget and end the deficit. And, owes a half million dollars to Tiffany & Co. (AND is running a presidential campaign in "the red.")

"President" Newt (*snork*) wants to build a base on the moon. (Full disclosure... The Blog can get behind this. He is of a certain age that he watched Neil Armstrong take "one giant leap" live, on the TV and grew up on "Star Trek" and "Star Wars." What makes Newt's position on this crazy is, he thinks it can be done while the de-funding of NASA comes in third on the GOP priority list after public education and Planned Parenthood.)

But, here is the latest! In his speech to the NRA convention, he said that, as president (*snork*) he would tell the United Nations that every man, woman and child in the world should be armed. Because, God says so! Witness...

Newt to NRA: Right to Bear Arms is a Human Right

(Note that the above links directly to Newt's own campaign site! I shit you not!)

"Appearing before the National Rifle Association annual meeting this afternoon, Newt Gingrich called for a new United Nations treaty that would give the right to bear arms to every person on the planet.  This proposed treaty would counter the United Nations Small Arms Treaty"

And, by the way... "the United Nations Small Arms Treaty" has nothing to do with any individual's (American or otherwise) right to bear arms. Google it yourself. Do I have to do everything for you?

To sum up...

  • The NRA wants you to be ready for the Zombie Invasion (presumably led by President Barack Hussein Obama, aka, The Zombie in the White House.)
  • Newt Gingrich wants everyone it the world to be packing heat.
  • Newt thinks that he is still a candidate for president and he wants a base on the moon. 

                                 "And a frikkin' shark with a lazer strapped to it's head."

Oh. About the photo of Kate Upton. It has nothing to do with this post. But The Blog noticed that the last post featuring a picture of her in a bikini attracted more hits than any other post on the blog. So, I'm doing it again.

The Blog has no shame.

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