Friday, January 31, 2014
Here it is.
The second anniversary of the birth of this blog.
Two years. 731 days. (If my math is correct and I figured the leap year properly.)
The PC's first anniversary post was pretty celebratory. So much so, in fact, that it went on for two posts.
I hate to bum out my own party, but, this anniversary doesn't feel so special.
Maybe it's like a five year high school reunion.
Not enough has changed in such a short time. The captain of the football team hasn't gotten fat and bald, yet. Neither has the prom queen.
Five years or two, it just isn't a "milestone."
In the year since our first anniversary not much has changed in the world.
At least, not for the better.
We are still Second Ammendmenting people to death.
The Tea Party has gotten smaller, but crazier.
Small minded bureaucrats would rather feed trash cans than poor kids.
I guess that is one thing to celebrate. There is no shortage of things for your PC to be pissed off about. And a pissed off Blog is an active blog.
(That's me. Always finding the bright side.)
Another thing to celebrate...
I'm still here and, according to my stats page, so are you.
Let's take 2 and a half minutes for a little celebratory rock out.
Okay, that's enough.
About those stats...
They blew my mind a year ago and they continue to blow my mind.
Daily pageviews range from 30 to 130 on any given day.
Even when I don't post anything new.
Monthly views are averaging about 2,000.
Total pageviews since day one... nearly 38,000!
So, they may not be Huffington Post numbers, but for a blog that was set up with the expectation of entertaining 6-8 people, tops, not too shabby.
Over the last year, I have experimented with different kinds of posts and subjects.
That experimentation will continue.
And, if you have ever been offended by anything that I have had to say, and you are still here...
The people who were offended in the past, who couldn't hack it and jumped ship, are no longer here. Freeing your Blog to pull out the few stops that were in place.
It's going to get more offensive around here, in the following weeks.
Strap on and enjoy the ride.
At this time last year, I gave you a few presents. Some of my favorite blogs and such.
If you have not checked any of them out, I am re-gifting them to you this year.
Go and enjoy.
But, I guess I should give you something fun to commemorate this night.
How about something cool?
I may be cool and you may be cool. But, none of us will ever be Neil Gaiman reading "Green Eggs and Ham" cool!
Here's to another year.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Every year, one of the most testosterone driven products around...
Produces a commercial to be played during the most testosterone driven event...
(The Super Bowl™...)
...designed to make the manliest man cry like a baby.
Here is this year's entry.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
What is it with the all the Michelle Obama hate out there?
Has any FLOTUS in the history of the U.S.ofA. ever been subjected to such a steady spew of disrespect?
Way back at the beginning of Pres. Obama's first term, Michelle chose her pet project, (as all First Ladies do.) And her project is fitness and nutrition. How controversial can that be?
Laura Bush's issue was libraries. Where was the derision aimed at that, oh so socialist, agenda?
But, when Mrs. O suggested growing our own food in gardens, that was just hippy liberalism.
When she promoted exercise, it was jackbooted Naziism.
When she told us how good it is to drink more water...
The Blog keeps hoping that Mrs. O will come out in favor of breathing, next.
(Did I mention that public libraries are the epitome of socialism? That Laura Bush was a total pinko.)
Then, last week, Michelle did the unthinkable.
She partnered with a giant, free market, capitalist corporation that has a semi-deserved reputation for semi-healthy nutrition...
And, as you can imagine, the knee-jerk, tea bagging, conserva-twits turned their Obama derangement up to 11 and let Comrade Subway know of their displeasure.
(And, their racism and semi-literacy.)
The Teapublicans are so angry that they are choking on their Chick-fil-a™ sammitches.
Here are just a few posts littering the Subway™ Facebook page...
And I know what those words mean.
Not to mention "Benghazi!"
Do not approach! May be dangerous!
And, Subway™ has lost...
Bummer for Subway™.
she might appear. Like "Bloody Mary"
Oh, and enjoy those $15 footlongs at Jersey Mikes™.
for providing The PC with the title of this post.
Go have a "Spicy Italian" on me!
There is more. Go on over to Americans Against the Tea Party for the full story.
And, when you are done there, in case you think that this FLOTUS/ Subway™ hate is a brief fluke...
Go check out Subway's Facebook page for more, up to the minute, Obama hate. It's still going on.
Go ahead and "like" their page, while you are there.
So, what happened with Subway™?
I think it all started a few years ago, when they abandoned their trademarked "Tunnel Cut™" for the more mundane straight cut. From there, it was on to flat bread.
After that, it was a slide down the slippery slope to government mandated, toasted Obama-subs.
And, the terrorists have won.
Your old Uncle PC is feeling better.
But, not up to 100%, yet.
A huge thanks to John Prager over at AATTP.org for doing the heavy lifting on this one.
We are mere days away from The Blog's 2nd anniversary.
I am resting up to be ready for that.
See you soon!
Friday, January 24, 2014
For the last couple of days, The PC has been sick.
Hopped up on meds, he has spent the last few days going from bed, to work and to bed again.
Don't worry. I'm not that kind of sick.
I am suffering from an extreme allergic reaction to forrest fire smoke that is trying to become a full blown sinus infection.
If I was contagious, I certainly wouldn't go to work.
As far as you know.
My business, much like the jobs of the people who prepare and serve your food, doesn't have paid sick days.
Oh look! Your burger is ready!
One of my friends, a lovely, all natural, macro-biotic sort, insisted that I try some homeopathic bullshit that she swears by.
And, don't tell her, but after one day's dosage, I think it may be working.
But, I'm not going to push my luck.
I stopped in long enough to let you all know that I probably won't be posting for a few more days.
Thanks for hanging in there with me.
I will now return your internet service to breaking Justin Beiber news.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
The PC is busy loading up his bullshit cannon and getting ready to aim it straight at his far-right Christianist friends who are, oh so obsessed with their God given right, (It's in The Bible. Google™ it) and desperate need to carry guns.
(Is The Blog's use of a gun analogy, above, maybe a bit hypocritical? Probably. Does The Blog give a shit? Probably not.)
Anyway, it will probably be a few nights before it's ready to post.
Until then, allow me to attempt to hold your attention with some mildly entertaining filler posts.
While perusing The Book of Faces, tonight...
I followed it to it's origin site.
An awesomely nerdy site called, "GeeksAreSexy.net."
Your Uncle PC just browsed the site, briefly, tonight.
But, I think, based on what I saw, this may be my new favorite web site.
They share funny, geeky humor...
That's right! A dating site for Trekkies!
If you are here, visiting The PC, you are probably already nerdy, or close to it.
The PC says, "Check it out!"
Monday, January 20, 2014
A couple nights ago, Your Blog promised to finish up on his thoughts about the current state of all things Batman.
As with politics, things in Hollywood, sometimes, change so fast that The PC can't keep up.
*Oh, how The PC envies the full time bloggers who stand at their posts 24/7 to bring us professionally written snark all day long. But, your humble Blog has a life and career that prevent that from happening here. So take it as I give it to you. Or don't. Whatever.*
So, here, in a condensed nutshell...
A quick look at what I wanted to say, two nights ago.
I don't have a problem with this.
Back in the late 1980's, while fanboys all over the world were getting their Kevlar™ panties in a bunch over the casting of Michael Keaton as Batman...
I had just seen Keaton in some movie about hockey and murder, I don't remember what it was called...
But, it was dark and intense.
And Keaton demonstrated his dark and intense chops in the film.
Sure he was slight of build and had no chin to speak of...
I had faith that this would work.
*It helped that your Blog had run into Kim "Vicki Vale" Basinger a couple of months before "Batman['s]" release, and she assured me that the movie was not going to be played for comedy.*
And, look what happened. After two pretty damned good movies, Keaton was replaced by Val Kilmer and, subsequently, George Clooney.
And, the same fanboys screamed for Keaton.
Similarly, and coincidentally, not 24 hours before the announcement that Affleck had been cast as the newest Batman...
I saw "Jersey Girl" (the only Kevin Smith film that I had not seen before.)
Affeck's character was dark and intense. Driven by grief.
Like, you know, Bruce Wayne.
So yeah. I think that Ben could be a great Batman. I'm not worried about that.
Just yesterday, Warner Bros. announced that the release date of the "Superman/Batman" movie is being pushed from June 2015 to May 2016.
Go to E! Online for a vague and unsatisfying explanation.
For whatever reason, it looks like we will have to wait.
In the meantime...
We Bat-Fans will have to get our fix from the upcoming "Lego Movie."
Television's equivalent of Ryan Reynolds, Will Arnett is the voice of...
And based on advance buzz and a handful of trailers...
Totally nails the part, and is funny in a "post-modern" "Toy Story" sort of way.
And, I am okay with that.
What can The Blog possibly post here, to commemorate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on his day, that no one else has done?
Pretty much nothing.
I could post a YouTube™ link to an excerpt from his most famous speech.
But, that has been done.
I could post a link to a whole bunch of inspirational quotations from the great man.
That's been done, too.
There is just nothing original left to do on MLK Day.
So instead, The PC will recognize the most original post of the day.
That prize goes to The Quitter from Twitter...
Who, without a hint of irony, twatted out the following tweet in the Reverend Doctor's honor...
Part of me wishes that the half-term governor from Alaska would just shut-up and go away.
The other part of me is grateful that she is the gift that keeps on giving.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Before you start reading, take a moment and click here, to get into the mood for tonight's post.
Last night, I told you that the 1966 "Batman" TV series is going to, finally, be released on DVD.
I made a passing remark that the legal kerfluffle that kept the series from home video release for something like three decades was "complicated and interesting," and The Blog should try to explain it all for you in a future post.
The future is here.
But, as luck would have it, the U.K newspaper and web site, "The Guardian," beat me to it and did as good a job as I could have done, breaking it all down.
Go read the story, here.
And while you are there, take 12 minutes and click on the YouTube™ link for the complete compilation of the show's "Wall climbing, window cameos."
Weird and wonderful stuff!
I'll be here when you get back.
You are back, and, as promised, I am still here.
Truth be told, I have a love/hate relationship with the TV version of Batman.
The show was cartoon, candy colored, over the top, kitsch.
I prefer the term "kitsch" when talking about the "Batman" series. The press, and everyone else since, have, called it "camp, campy, or camp show."
IMHO, the term is not accurate.
"Camp," cartoonish and over the top as the style is, has a specific defining root in gay culture.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
If you need a perfect example of "camp," check out the Frank Oz directed remake of "The Stepford Wives."
One could also argue that the Joel Schumacher "Batman" movies fit the actual definition of "camp."
The TV series actually went out of it's way to avoid the "camp" (in a homosexual way) label, by adding a new, mother figure character, Aunt Harriet Cooper, to the all male household of Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson and Alfred Pennyworth.
Call it "kitsch." Call it "camp."
What the TV show was was "silly."
And it probably set the American public perception of the literary value of comic books back by a decade,
But the show was the young Blogling's first exposure to The Caped Crusader.
The TV show avoided the tragic story of Bruce Wayne's youth and Batman's origin.
When the young Blogling was about eight-years-old, a fan of the show, but unaware of any of Batman's other stories...
I took a tumble out of my bed and my chin met the hardwood floor of my bedroom with some force.
Why I fell out of bed at eight-years old, I have no clue.
Maybe I was drunk.
Rushed to the E.R., my chin bleeding profusely, a towel with a hole in it was put over my face, and a local anesthetic was administered.
**digression within a digression**
I can't remember what I had for lunch, yesterday. But I can recall this scene in high definition.
A mind is a weird thing to waste.
**back to the original digression**
The nurse asked me, "Do you like Batman?"
"Oh, yes!" I replied.
"Do you know how he became the Batman?" She asked.
I shook my head "no."
For the next 15/ 20 minutes, while the doctor sewed me up, the nurse regaled me with the tragic and gruesome origin story of The Batman.
Which, to an outside observer, may seem sickly twisted and sadistic.
But, this story about my hero, that I had never heard before, served to distract me from my present situation.
I wish I knew that nurse's name and where she is, today.
I would hug her and thank her.
God bless nurses.
*END THIS LAYER CAKE OF DIGRESSIONS*
Back to the story...
Not long after the above *DIGRESSION,* a family friend, who happened to be a librarian, gave me a box of comic books from her own collection.
You read that right, comic book haters...
It was a librarian who turned me on to comic books.
Issues of Superman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, and Lois Lane...
The Lois Lane comic book featured an obscure character who, probably, first sparked my fascination for dual personality disorder stories...
And, of course, Batman.
And those Batman comics blew my mind.
They weren't the silly stories that the TV show portrayed.
I barely recognized the comic book Bruce Wayne.
The comics Batman was so different from the TV version.
But, I liked what I was seeing.
It's getting late, and your PC has to get up in the morning and take the Christmas lights down from the house, before going to a show in the evening.
So, I'm going to stop here, for now.
Or, to put it in the parlance of the Batman TV series...
" Does The Blog have anything more to say about Batman?
Will he tell you what he expects from Ben Affleck?
And, what's the deal with the "Lego Movie" and Will Arnett?
Or, will he leave you hanging with promises of future posts, like he has with "Once Upon a Time" and "Sleepy Hollow?"
Tune in next time.
Same Bat time.
Same Bat channel. "
Friday, January 17, 2014
Not an exaggeration, at all.
An understatement, actually.
As a kid, the future PC was very obsessed with television.
Possibly, disturbingly obsessed.
While the other kids were spending their allowances on baseball cards and such, I was buying the latest issue of TV Guide.
Oh, not every issue, every week.
Most weeks, I was satisfied with the "TV Week" magazine supplement that came with the newspaper every Friday.
I may not have been into baseball cards. But there were other cards packaged with a stick of rock hard bubble gum.
Well, you get the picture.
I knew everything about what was on TV.
Even the shows I didn't watch. I could tell you what channel, what night and what time any show was on.
What any show was about.
And who starred in what show.
Understand, back in those days, there were only three channels, so knowing all of this stuff was not the Herculean task that it would be today.
When I wasn't reading about TV, I was watching it.
Much to everyone's surprise, my TV saturated childhood was not wasted.
The Blog is one of those lucky people who turned his obsession into a career.
So that was a good thing.
Oh! Okay. So, where was I going with this post before I took that brief walk down "Memory Lane?"
A couple of things.
First off, not one, but two fixtures of American television during that time went to The Great Syndication in the Sky, today.
If you are more than a week younger than The Blog, you may not recognize either of their names. But, if you grew up when prime time shows were re-ran, five days a week, in the after school afternoons...
Or, if you grew up watching Nick at Night...
Or, if today, you are 8-years-old and have discovered such digital channels as "Antenna TV," or "MeTV..."
(And if that is the case, while The Blog admires your taste in old television, what the fuck are you doing here? Get off my lawn, you little shits!)
...You know their best known characters.
The lone "straight man" (which, for you youngsters, doesn't mean "the one non-gay guy,") to six wacky, fellow castaways on "Gilligan's Island."
Even though I was not really a fan, as such, I was a viewer. From "first run" to syndication, "Gilligan's Island" was virtually inescapable for decades.
So, yes, The PC has probably seen every episode, a dozen times.
And then there is...
Not exactly "The Partridge Family's" "straight man" (that distinction goes to Shirley Jones' Shirley Partridge,) but the long suffering foil to the Partridge kids' hi-jinks and shenanigans, especially Danny Partridge.
Unlike "Gilligan's Island," "The Partridge Family" was a show that the young me was emotionally invested in.
I wanted to be a Partridge. I wanted to be Danny's best pal. I wanted to do kissy things with Laurie.
*Yes, yes. I know. If I "was" a Partridge, doing kissy things with Laurie would have been wrong and creepy. Don't piss on my childhood fantasy over a technicality.*
Dammit! I wanted to drive Mr. Kinkade to the brink of hilarious insanity!
By the time Dave became one of the Partridge stars, I was already familiar with his work.
I already knew him as the dead-pan, confetti and one-liner tossing comic from "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in." A show that I wasn't allowed to watch, but did, anyway. Every week.
During my years as a TV obsessed youth, there were a handful of shows that my parents deemed "age inappropriate" for my young, impressionable psyche.
"Laugh-In," "The Smothers Brothers," "The Pat Paulson Show," "All in the Family" and "M*A*S*H" come to mind.
And yet, sooner or later, all those shows became my family's "must see TV" (before NBC invented the phrase.)
The thing that these shows all had in common is, they all had reputations for being subversive and "adult."
And they were.
In a TV world of "Gilligan's Island" and "The Partridge Family" fluff...
These "forbidden" shows were ground-breakingly intelligent and thought provoking.
I truly believe that those shows, along with MAD Magazine, were crucial to the formation of the critically thinking, asshole, know-it-all that I am today.
And I thank my parents for giving in to their weird, stubborn, television addicted son.
It is well documented (Google it yourselves,) that unlike the child hating Ruben Kinkade...
Sorry to *DIGRESS* again so soon. But...
I keep running across the phrase "child hating" in descriptions of the Mr. Kinkade character, as I read Dave's obits.
And I call bullshit.
Sure, the Partridge kids drove him crazy. The confirmed bachelor was often annoyed, exasperated and exhausted by them.
But, I firmly believe that, by Episode 3, Ruben would have taken a bullet for any of those kids.
And, at the risk of veering into some seriously lame, retro, fan fiction territory, I think he was more than a little bit in love with Shirley.
I like to think that, sometime after Season 5 ended, "The Partridge Family" became "The Kinkade Family."
Or, maybe I'm just projecting.
Where was I?
It has been well documented that Dave Madden loved kids.
So much so that, when when domestic strife reared it's ugly head in the Bonaduce household...
(Evidenced by the bruises and black eyes that Danny showed up to work with...)
Shirley Jones and Dave Madden would invent excuses to have Danny spend weekends, alternatively, with them.
Danny and David Cassidy both talk about this in their respective autobiographies.
After "The Partridge Family" ended, Dave did only a handful of on camera acting jobs.
But, he became one of Hollywood's most respected voice actors and continued that career path until he retired.
Russell Johnson was 89. Dave Madden was 83. Both lived good, long lives and died of natural causes.
On a lighter note...
The weather forecast for today in Hell must be "A high of 31 degrees with a chance of snow and freezing rain."
In the 30 + years that "home video" in forms that have changed form VHS to DVD to Blu-Ray to internet streaming...
Every TV show, ever, has been made available to rent or own.
The movie, based on the show has been available for forever.
But, because of a distribution rights conflict that has gone on between Warner Brothers and 20th Century Fox for more than three decades, the series episodes have never been available in any home video form.
The conflict has been so complicated and fascinating that it probably deserves a post of it's own. (Note to Self.)
Back in 1998, on the verge of the release the Warner Brothers, Tim Burton, Michael Keaton big screen reboot...
Adam West recorded a hilarious parody of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody..."
*[sigh] ANOTHER DIGRESSION*
Bringing this post full circle...
Adam West's Batman was The Young PC's first TV obsession.
The Bloggling was 6-years-old at the time.
So, it seems fitting, in an awesomely fateful way, that the first TV celebrity that The Blog worked with in Hollywood would be his childhood hero, Adam West.
(Well, The Blog's first paying job. A few months before that, he worked with "Green Acres' "Hank Kimball," Alvy Moore. But, it wasn't a paying job, so it doesn't count for the purposes of this post.)
*END DIGRESSION* (The last one, this post. I promise.)
If, 24 hours ago, you had bet me that the 1965 Batman series would soon see the light of home video day, I would have taken that bet.
But, this morning, Warner Brothers announced that, finally, the complete Batman TV series will be released on DVD and Blu-Ray.
I don''t know why I didn't see this coming.
The clues were out there.
This past summer, there was a flood of Batman TV series merchandise released into stores. Especially an exclusive series of products from Target.
Warner Brothers and 20th Century Fox resolved their differences.
Maybe there is still hope for the Republicans and Democrats in Washington.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
In this day and age when semi-scripted, heavily produced and edited television shows are branded "Reality" shows...
When ideological propaganda/ entertainment aimed at a narrow, like minded, demographic can call itself "news..."
When we get our news from a comedy network and our comedy from a news network...
When any whiskey soaked doofus with an internet connection can write a blog...
Does truth hold value, anymore?
Of course it does.
This is something that has long frustrated your humble Blog when he has engaged his wing-nut friends and, occasionally, on-line strangers in the age old pastime of political discourse.
The PC's fundi-rightey friends will say something like...
"Obamacare requires a photo I.D. to sign up. So why shouldn't one be required to vote."
The thing that all three of these statements, (and others,) have in common is...
They are all outright lies. Not a shred of truth to any of them.
The Conserva-Christianists are all about The Bible when quoting Leviticus 18:22 while hating on the gays...
(Sorry. Not "hating." "Loving the sinner and hating the sin." Which is a steaming pile of bovine fecal matter for another post. *Note to Self*)
All the while, they choose to ignore the inconvenient Ninth Commandment (or Eighth, if you happen to be Catholic or Lutheran.)
And bear false witness all over the place.
When presented with verifiable, irrefutable facts, instead of acquiescing and saying, "Okay, you're right. I stand corrected..."
They say words to the effect of, "Okay, maybe it's not really true. It's something that I saw on the internets, (and I can't be bothered to fact-check.) And, because it reinforces my world view, I saw fit to pass it along. It makes the point and feels true. And so, it's valid."
Your PC isn't the only one who has encountered this argument.
Way back in 2008, or thereabout, the brilliant satirist Stephen Colbert, playing the satirical role of conservative, bloviating, blow-hard, "Stephen Colbert," (or one of his equally brilliant writers,) coined a new word to describe this phenomenon.
This morning, the dangerous, explosive, Nazi, bag of gas...
Confirmed my point.
"It's just every Republican who has entered the fray defending Christie has to put a caveat out there 'if he's telling the truth.' Now, if there were a fervent ideological foundation, if there was a substantive reason of believing in Governor Christie, then whether he lied wouldn't matter. They'd be out there defending him left and right just to make sure the Democrats don't get away with this."Got that?
It's the ConservaPublicanChristoBagger philosophy in a (wing) nut-shell.
A true Republican with a pure ideology, would defend Christie, even if he is lying.
A tip 'o the hat to The Daily Kos for the Limbaugh spew. You can read the whole story here.