In last night's post, The Blog blew off the Halle Berry "Catwoman" movie with the phrase, "The less said, the better."
That phrase guaranteed that The Blog would spend today obsessing about the question, "What went wrong?" in the same way that a passing reference to the worst musical ever produced "Grease!" would guarantee that "You're the One That I Want" would be stuck in The Blog's head for the better part of the day.
The Blog claims a unique expertise on the subject. Because The Blog was directly involved in the production of the Pamela Anderson mega-bomb "Barb Wire."
That's right.
Pamela Anderson, Pamela Anderson's breasts and shit blowing up. Three elements that should have insured a blockbuster.
But "Catwoman" made many of the same mistakes as those films, plus several others.
In the "plus" column...
"Catwoman" starred Halle Berry, one of the most beautiful women on the face of the Earth. Also, a talented actress who, with better material would have owned the character.
But, that's about it for the "plus" column.
The "minus" or "What went wrong?" column....
Ms. Berry's Catwoman was not a reboot of Selina Kyle. She was Patience Phillips. According to the plot, the latest in a long line of Catwomen. Not a resident of Gotham City. Rather a resident of New York, maybe. Or, maybe, Vancouver, Canada. It's not all together clear.
She enjoys the same supernatural elements as Michelle Pfeifer's Catwoman. Egyptian cat goddesshood, indicated by a shot duplicating the "Batman Returns" shot of Michelle/ Halle on the rocks surrounded by cats.
The high camp presence of villainess Sharon Stone as a corrupt cosmetics mogul pushed the movies demographic into the narrow, and not very "comics nerd" realm of women and gays only. The narrow "Death Becomes Her" demo.
Apologies to my female and gay friends, but this is the same move that made Pamela Anderson's "Barb Wire" and "VIP" popular, not to the intended male audience, but rather to women and gays. NTTIAWWT!
And then there was the CGI special effects that looked like they were designed on a Nintendo 64.
Here's hoping that the newest incarnation of Catwoman will bring her to a wider audience.
Looking forward to "The Dark Knight Rises."
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