Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Some Thoughts About The Olympics

Here is how many shits The Blog gives about the Olympics...

< zero.

Okay. Maybe that is a bit of hyperbolic exaggeration.

Much like Season 128 (or so) of "Survivor" or the latest round of "Big Brother," or the current presidential campaign, The Blog wishes that he couldn't care less.

But, as usual, he has been sucked in.

So, here goes...

First, What is up with the London Olympics graphics?

It took The Blog a couple of days to realize that this mess represented the year 2012.

Is this really a 2012 logo? Or is it a terrorist's rendering of the blueprints of London's banks?

And then there is this....

Did the London Olympic committee actually pay someone, probably, a million dollars, to design a logo with masking tape?

These two designs prompt The Blog to beg future Olympic committees to commission someone with some talent, like "Banksy," to design the next Olympic logos.

The opening ceremonies were an over produced, over the top tribute to "British Exceptionalism" that, mostly, served to remind Americans about what annoying assholes we are when we go on about "American Exceptionalism."

But, really, for sheer stage craft and production value, the ceremony made everything on Broadway from "Wicked" to "The Lion King" look like community theater.

Big good sport, sense of humor (or humour) points for Her Royal Majesty The Queen's "James Bond" bit!

And a big thumbs up for the great big "fuck you" to Briton's current "conservative" government that wants to dismantle their incredibly popular health care system.

An army of Mary Poppinses vanquishing Lord Voldemort and other English lit villains. Too cool!

And, no celebration of U.K. pop culture would be "compleat" without Mr. Bean!

And, oh yeah, there are some sports involved.

While The Blog suspects that the main demographic for the women's gymnastics competition is creepy old men who lost interest in the Olsen twins the minute that they turned 18, The Blog also admits that these young women defy physics in ways that Chinese movie stunt people depend on harnesses, bungee cords and CGI to pull off.

Synchronized diving?

Holy shit!

Two people, moving at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way, while plummeting from three story heights, while wearing Speedos.

That is The Blogs definition of insanity!

And finally...

Thanks to one of The Blogs favorite bloggers, Emmy winning TV writer, sports commentator and, well, blogger Ken Levine, for saying what all of us straight males are thinking...

The reason that we prefer Summer Olympics over Winter Olympics...

Women's Beach Volleyball.

1 comment:

  1. Some of the sports this time were really good. Some were bittersweet. The opening ceremony? Can Beijing have the torch back, please? Geeze. It was said that after 2008 no one could possibly expect anything better. Well, we got that. Given that, we can expect ANYthing better in 2016.
    The changing of the guard in men's swimming: nice.
    The "Flying Squirrel" in women's gymnastics: How the hell did she do that?
    Now I can't wait to see the guy that runs on the springboards. I'm not meaning to be cruel, it amazes me. I also think it's beyond asinine that he had to prove that his times were legit and that his 'feet' were not a way of cheating.
    Can we just skip the closing ceremonies? Please?