Sunday, June 1, 2014

Velociraptors Were Scary Awesome

For a year or two after the release of the movie "Jurassic Park," science nerds had multiple, masturbatory, nerdgasms over the the movie's scientific inaccuracies.

There were a lot of them. And most of them were, probably, valid.

But the biggest beef from the scientific nerd community was about the whole velociraptor thing.

Nasty? Yes.

                                            But, no larger than your Thanksgiving turkey.

They insisted.

The movie portrayed 'raptors as way too big. They said.

And then, a year or two later, a full fossil skeleton of an, until then unknown, 'raptor was discovered in Arizona.

Do you want to guess how big it was?

Yeah. It was that big.

Four feet high. Seven feet from snout to tail.

Try carving that fucker at your Thanksgiving table.

Because scientists are more inclined to self depreciating humor in the face of being proven wrong by new facts than your average Bible banger...

They named the new velociraptor find, "Velociraptor Arizonus Speilbergus."

Because scientists are way funnier than we give them credit for.

This is kind of old news, except that just recently, scientists in Korea have built a robot 'raptor that may or may not prove that 'raptors were faster than Uslan Bolt and smarter than Sheldon Cooper.

Check it out.  

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