Tuesday, March 13, 2012

How to Tick Off a Democrat???

Okay, Bloglits! Let's get to it....

At about this time last night, The Blog was in a quandary about what to write about, or even if he should just skip it. It's not that there was any shortage of absurdity in the world yesterday. Far from it. But, in the world of politics, there was nothing that hadn't already been commented on by people smarter and funnier than The Blog. Absurd human behavior? Your Ole Uncle PC saw some shit at work yesterday that pushed the absolute limits of bat-shitery! But, The Blog is contractually prohibited from discussing that stuff and The Blog likes his job and wishes to keep it. So that's out.

So, unless The Blog could do four paragraphs about the asshole that cut him off on La Brea Blvd. on his way to work, he had nothin'.

And then, there it was! A link on The Blog's Facebook news feed posted by an old friend (an actual friend from his high school days, not just a "friend" in the social network sense,) that took the clicker to a blog entry that made The Blog fall to his knees and praise the Gods of the internets! A commentary that not only attempted to defend one of the stupidest right-wing talking points ever, but also a commentary so poorly written, so all over the map and so cluelessly contradictory that The Blog knew that he simply would not have enough time, last night, to give it the attention that it deserved. (or, frankly, didn't deserve.)

Check out the link below to read the commentary. ( A caveat... tonight, when I accessed this page, right about the time it finished loading, it suddenly redirected me to a blank page. So let it load until you can read it, then click the "stop" button on your browser.)

Go ahead. Read it. It's short. I'll wait.

How to Tick Off a Democrat - Call it the 'Democrat Party'

Okay. Really? You aren't going to go there? You want me to do the work for you? Fine. I see how it is. Alright, I'll quote some excerpts and give you a synopsis.

{Lazy ass Bloglits.}

You've seen the title of the piece. That's the main point. Using the word "Democrat" when "Democratic" is appropriate, really pisses off members of The Democratic Party. 

Here is the opening sentence....

Liberals hate it when you refer to their party as the “Democrat” Party and not by its official name — the “Democratic Party.”

Sticking with that point for the time being, (while saving a critique of the commentary's overall content for later) The Blog's fellow independent Liberals and Democrats already know this (we have discussed it at our weekly agenda meetings) The Blog would like to address his Conservative, Republican friends....

Hey you Republican guys and gals! I want to let you in on a little secret. When you use the term "democrat" in place of the word "democratic" it really doesn't "tick [us] off" at all. The truth is, we snicker and elbow each other in the ribs. Why? Because using phrases like "the Democrat Party" or "the Democrat Senator" or "the Democrat legislation" makes you sound like an uneducated rube. And, if that's not enough, you deliver that supposed epithet as if you have just said the cleverest thing ever. You are like a right-wing Sheldon Cooper shouting "BAZINGA!!!" Yeah, you sure got one off on those stupid liberals! That is some seriously rapier wit!

And man! That just cracks us up!

Sure, we may correct you. We may say, "That's The Democratic Party, asshole!" We feign offense because that means you will keep on making yourselves look stupid.

The Blog is reminded of an old joke....

Two geezers are chatting at the foot of one of the geezer's driveways. A kid we will call "Billy" comes walking toward them. One geezer says to the other, "Watch this. This kid is so stupid!" Geezer #one says, "Hey Billy! I have a nickel and a dime. You can have one of them. Which one do you want?" Billy says, "I'll take the nickel, 'cause it's bigger." He takes the nickel and walks away. Geezer #two catches up with Billy and says, "You seem smarter than that. Why did you take the nickel when you know that the dime is worth more?" Billy says, "Because, if I take the dime, he'll stop playing the game!"

I think that you get my point.

As for the rest of the content of the commentary... (Liberals and Dems, you can come back now) If you have actually gone and read it, you will see that this self appointed pundit digresses, right at the beginning, with some thoughts about Geraldo Rivera's alleged sexual proclivities. Once he gets past that distraction, he proceeds to contradict his own premise by showing that most Democrats really don't give a shit about the Democratic vs. Democrat usage. Then, after a truly baffling dissertation on grammar, he concludes with the following contradiction...

So if you want to tick off Democrats, call their party the “Democrat Party.” See how many of them notice. I bet most of them won’t.

As the great philosopher, Bugs Bunny often said, "Wot a maroon!"

What amuses The Blog the most about this whole thing is that a man with three university degrees, including a doctorate, a professor who molds the minds of young, future "Conservatives," actually thought that this claptrap was worthy of sharing with his social network friends.

And that, my Bloglits, is truly absurd!

BTW... While we are on the subject, (I'm talking to conservatives, again,) You don't do yourselves any favors when you replace the word "public" with the word "government." As in "government  schools," "government utilities," and "government healthcare." Not to mention calling "The Affordable Healthcare Act" "Obamacare." When The Blog hears or reads these phrases, he can't help but picture Mammy Yokum hopping around Dogpatch, howling about "The Revenooers!" Seriously, you might as well stick a Post-It™ note on your forehead that says, "Mindless, right-wing, ideologue."

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