Last night, The Blog promised to Post a Post about the Postal Service. But, because he is too tired and just not in the mood, The Blog is going to Postpone that Post until Post-tonight.
Tomorrow night, instead.
Tonight, The Blog will let someone else do his work for him.
To paraphrase the old saying...
"Those who can, do. Those who can't, criticize."
Back in the 1980s, The PC purchased and enjoyed a book that collected bad theater reviews, called "No Turn Unstoned."
Generally, a cleverly scathing review of a movie, TV show or play is more likely to drive The Blog to see the show in question than a positive review might.
The Blog's all time favorite bad review was for the John Stamos, Gene Simmons "James Bond" parody, "Never Too Young to Die."
I don't remember who the critic was, but it was an L.A. Times review that began with the sentence, indelibly imprinted on The PC's psyche, "This movie is not just bad. It is aggressively bad."
The Blog was the first in line to see that hilarious train wreck!
The Blog got to thinking about this yesterday, after reading about the Grand Diva of movie critics, Rex Reed's odious review of "Identity Theft."
As those of you who have followed The Blog for any length of time should know, The Blog is no homophobe.
But, when he read Reed's attack on Melissa McCarthy, (who The PC recently professed his love of,) calling her a "tractor-sized hippo," the following sentence sprung to the top of The Blog's mind...
"Fuck you, you aging, evil queen, faggot, queer, cunt, desperately trying to hang on to anything resembling relevancy! Where the fuck to you get off? Fuck you, very much!"
I said it.
While the Blog does not always agree with him, he has a great deal of admiration and respect for Chicago Sun-Times reviewer and movie critic icon Roger Ebert.
The PC is "friended" with Roger on Facebook.
Not only do I respect his opinions, even when I disagree with him, I admire him on a number of levels.
Before he went "legit," Ebert wrote screenplays for porn films.
That fact makes him a member of an exclusive club that The Blog belongs to.
And, as a smoker, The PC has a hard time looking at Roger these days.
His neck brace holds his boneless jaw up to his face, making him look like a badly made Muppet.
He can not speak, except with the help of a computer's speech program.
Roger's health forces The Blog to face a possibility that he would prefer to remain in denial about.
But, in spite of all of that, Roger Ebert keeps on keeping on.
Which brings me to the piece that I will share with you, tonight.
Complex.com's "50 Harshest Roger Ebert Movie Review Quotes."
These are pretty entertaining.
As I said before, I don't agree with all of them.
There a couple of movies in this list that I like.
("Valentine's Day" was directed by a friend and features several friends in supporting roles, so I take exception to his disdain for this film. So, maybe I'm biased.)
And one that I love.
Really Roger? Criticizing "Monsters, Inc.?" How dare you?
But, yeah. Mostly, this is fun.
A word of warning...
If your computer is as old as mine is, or if you don't have decent broadband...
Complex.com made this a slideshow, rather than a simple list. So, you might spend a half an hour or so viewing this.