Monday, April 15, 2013

April 15th





So it's April 15th.

Tax Day.




The day that the comic strip duck will call you an "idiot" for celebrating getting a refund.

Because getting 0% interest on a short term "loan" is worse than having to borrow 27% because you cut it too close on the with-holding.

It's too late for The Blog to give you tax advice for this year. But, save this valuable piece of advice for future reference.

There is one person that you should have in your life that is a paranoid, government hating, ultra-right-wing nut case.

Your tax preparer.

Because no one will work harder to get you money back from the gum'mint than he  will.

And, I don't mean your average tea-bagging, doofus.

That sort of ignorance will only get you in trouble.

No, you need someone who is brilliant, but crazy.

When choosing a tax preparer, avoid the giant, corporate chains. They are in bed with the people who make the tax code more and more complicated.




When looking for a tax guy, check for tin-foil headgear.

For many years, The PC had a tax guy who was, simply, shady.

The PC, ultimately, paid for that mistake.

About a decade ago, The Blog took his first meeting with his current tax guy.

On the surface, he is a dude.





Hawaiian shirt, beard, wet hair because he came to work straight from an early morning of surfing.

Doooood!

The things that made this guy great were subtle, at first.

The radio that drones, quietly, in the background in his office is a "fire and brimstone, Christian" station.

Things escalated quickly.

An offhand remark by me about it making more sense to bury my money in the back yard rather than try to earn interest from a bank was met with this, completely straight faced response..."

"Yeah, but if you do that, when China takes over, your money won't, automatically, convert."

"Ha ha." I said.

He didn't laugh.

"Ha." said I.

Nothing.

This theme has been repeated during numerous, subsequent meetings.

Yep. This guy is paranoid, nutso cuckoo.

And, he gets me refunds every year, without an audit in sight.

Get yourselves one of these guys! Just practice up on keeping a straight face and biting your tongue.

This year's conversation was especially choice.

In spite of some very good healthcare coverage, between Mrs. Blog and myself, we have co-pays and non-covered medical expenses that are so high they are nearly bankrupting us.

Thousands of dollars worth.

Under current tax law, you cannot deduct medical expenses until you reach something like $11,000.

So $8,000 worth of expenses are useless on our tax return.

"Just wait until next year," my guy smugly quips. "It's going to get worse under Obamacare."

I smile and nod, my inner voice saying, "Seriously?"

My inner voice continued, "I can't write off $8,000 worth of medical expenses, (thanks to Reagan) this year, but next year, I still won't be able to write them off, but will be secure in the knowledge that my wife's insurance can't cancel her for being too sick. If I lose my job, I will still be able to get affordable coverage. Even with my pre-existing conditions. And my son, a college student working part time retail can also get affordable coverage. But, next year, under Obamacare, things will be worse?"

So, how will next year be worse?

Oh, right.

Because, Obama.

He's a putz.

But, he is a brilliant putz.

If you can bear it, you really need to find a guy like this.

2 comments:

  1. If you can bear it. THAT's the catch.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my god... I think we have the same tax guy!

    ReplyDelete