Friday, February 14, 2014

For Your Valentine's Day, A Pity Card

According to the geniuses at "Fox & Friends," Valentine's Day is being ruined by political correctness "run amok."

Expressing their pout-rage over a New Jersey public school's policy stating that students must bring Valentine cards for every student in class, so none are left out...

Oh, Christ. I just cannot go on.

Give me a minute to take a few cleansing breaths.

The Blog has been on this earth for more than a half a century. And he spent the better part of the first decade of his life, beginning 50 years ago, attending public elementary school.

Where the policy was, then as it is now, students must bring Valentine cards for every student in class, so none are left out.

The Blog even spent one year (the third grade) in a private school.

Where the policy was, then as it is now, students must bring Valentine cards for every student in class, so none are left out.

But, this morning, the folks at Fox "News" seemed to prove what your PC has always suspected...

The Fox-bots were never children. Rather, they were hatched as fully formed, simulated adults in a laboratory in the basement of The Heritage Foundation.

Because this standard, decades long, school policy about Valentine cards is, from their perspective, a brand new example of "pc run amok."

To back this claim, F&F brought on a "mommy blogger" named Elizabeth Esther.

Now, I don't want to diss "mommy bloggers" with a broad brush. But, your PC is always a little bit suspicious of parents that are so confident about their parenting skills that they feel the need to share their expertise with the world.

As a parent, I can tell you that during the years that Mrs. Blog and I were raising The Blog Jr. from infancy to adulthood, I spent most of my waking hours thinking, "Holy shit! What the fuck and I doing? I'm not qualified for this! Am I doing this right? Or am I fucking my kid up for life?"

In hindsight, I think we did pretty good. The Blog Jr. grew up pretty great.

Your Blog does know one "mommy blogger."

                                   Comedienne, TV and radio personality Teresa Strasser...

...who is honest enough to name her "mommy blog" "Exploiting My Baby."

Annndddd breathe......

Okay, back to F&F and their guest, Elizabeth Esther.

Mrs. (I am assuming) Esther maintains that giving Valentine cards to every class member deprives some of those kids the important life lesson that "... life isn't fair."

Take a moment and head on over to and watch the video clip and read the selected transcripts, while I take a few more deep breaths.

Okay. Did you get that?

Mrs. E's central point is this...
"You can’t make life 100% fair. And why not let them experience a little bit of that, like, 'Wow! OK!' while they’re young, while the stakes are low, rather than, you know, they’re 20 years old and they’re still expecting everyone to give them a Valentine’s?"
Your Blog has a thing or three to say to this heartless and brainless idiot.

News Flash! Mrs. Esther. 

Those kids who would not receive your so-called "pity cards" if the cards for all policy was not in place...

Already know that life isn't fair.

That lesson is driven home to them, every goddamned day.

Those kids are the "weird" kids. The outcasts. The misfits.

They are the kid who eats paste.

The kid who wears thrift store clothes.

The kid who smells funny.

The kid who wears braces or glasses or both.

The kid who reads too much.

The kid who doesn't run as fast or kick the ball as hard.

The fat girl and the skinny boy.

                            They are the kid who shows more gum than teeth when she smiles.

They are the kids who just aren't very pretty.

And, oh don't they know, that life isn't fair.

They are the kids who eat lunch alone.

They are the kids who play at recess by themselves.

They are the last to be picked for the team in gym class.

They are called names, daily.

They get the shit beaten out of them, weekly.

They already get it.

Life is not fucking fair.

They know.

I am a proponent of the culture of schools teaching children self-esteem.

Because if self-esteem is not taught in the first six to twelve years of a kids life, then when?

Kids should get trophies just for participating.

Because, for the outcasts and misfits, just participating is an awesome achievement. 

And your "pity cards" are some of the most valued things one of those kids will ever receive.

And here is a fact for you.

By the time those kids have reached the age of 20, most of them have grown up enough to not expect Valentines from everyone.

By 20-years-old, many of those funny looking kids will have grown into their looks and are, actually, hot.

The weird kids who read too much have developed apps and social media sites and founded multi-million dollar companies.

A few obligatory pieces of cheap cardboard did not ruin them.

Conversely, what message does it send to the "popular" kids when they get cards while others don't?

Do they, sometimes, just maybe, grow up to be entitled shit-heads, who report to their cubicles and used car lots and middle management positions, all the while wondering why "life" has abandoned them?

Did anyone ever teach them that life isn't fair?

Some of the lucky ones grow to "maturity" and get million dollar contracts from Fox "News," or "Premier Radio," where they get paid to be entitled, elitist, bullying assholes.

A few of them actually grow up right.

Like The Blog's old classmate Rep. Matt Lundy (D- Ohio) who grew up to be a defender of the people, both the popular and the weird.

Some of you, my blogglitts, were probably weird kids.

This is my Valentine card to you.

Many of you, probably, have kids who also wear the label of outcast or misfit.

Please tell them, for me, your old Uncle PC, that this Valentine is for them, too.

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