Obligatory Olympics™ Post: 2014

So the Olympics™ happened.

The Blog has nothing against the Olympics™. But, I can't say I'm a fan.

I watch. I enjoy.

But...

                                                          Much like "The Millers..."

If the Olympics™ suddenly went away, I probably wouldn't notice.

But, as a blogger, I am required, by law, to weigh in on the topic.

So, here are a few, mandatory, thoughts...
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In a country that has no shortage of seriously cold locations, why Sochi?

According to the internet my sources, Sochi is sub-tropical and enjoys a climate similar to Atlanta, Georgia.

Ironically, (and I am pretty sure that I am using that word correctly, for a change,) while Sochi's mild temperatures turned snow and ice into a thing called "water..."

Thanks to the Polar Vortex, Atlanta was suffering through a crippling snowstorm.
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The festivities in the tropic of Russia got off to a good start...

With only a few more glitches than the preview weeks of...

                                                        "Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark."
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Things didn't go so well for Shawn White.

No mystery, here.

Nothing robs a boarder of his mojo faster than the sudden realization that he doesn't, actually, have a death wish.
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But, the Winter Games (I got tired of typing "™" after "Olympics™,") had everything a viewer could ask for.

                                                 Pretty girls wearing knives on their feet.

People doing really...

really....

REALLY...

Insane things. 

                                                                     Creepy mascots.

And physics defying figure skaters.

Did I mention, "Knives on their feet?"
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Speaking of figure skating...

Here are some bets that you will never lose...

Someone will skate to "Bolero."

Someone will skate to "Rhapsody in Blue."

Someone will skate to, "Phantom."

Here is a bet that I would have lost...

                                Someone will skate to the music from "The Addams Family."

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Sochi, 2014. Tune in for the jingoistic nationalism. Stay for the homophobia.
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The gold medal for the host county's biggest public relations misstep is a tie between arresting members of "Pussy Riot" and killing stray dogs.

Both should have worn knives on their feet.
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Katarina Witt was not involved in this year's games.

But, that won't stop me from posting this photo.

                                                                     Just because.

Kat once saved The Blog's life.

True story. For another post.
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Finally...

It's probably because, deep down, I am still 12-years-old...

But, for this Blog, the high point of this year's games was that awkward moment...

When speed skater, Olga Graf, forgot that she was naked under her clothes.
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Let the record show that The Premature Curmudgeon™ blog, in accordance with international blogger's requirements, has complied with the blogger mandate and commented on the 2014 Winter Olympics™ on this day, February 25, 2014.