Friday, February 7, 2014

Smoke 'Em While You've Got 'Em

Yesterday, the CEO of the CVS Pharmacy chain, made a stunning announcement.

Did you get that?

By October of this year, CVS will no longer sell tobacco products.

No more cigarettes.

No more cigars.

No more pipe tobacco.

No more "chaw."

Which, kind of, you know, makes sense for a company that is nominally concerned with healthcare.

*Full Disclosure*

The Blog is a regular customer of CVS.

All of Mrs. Blog's medications as well as the couple that I, myself am on, are purchased from our neighborhood CVS pharmacy.

Your PC is so well known at his local CVS that, when the pharmacy staff see me approaching the counter, they pull our meds and have them ready at the cash register.

*Additional Disclosure*

Your PC is a smoker.

Not cigarettes, so much.

The Blog's preferred nicotine delivery system is the same one that Sherlock Holmes, Bennett Cerf, Hugh Heffner and Walt Disney preferred...

                                                             The venerable briar pipe.

                                                              Or, the occasional cigar.

The Blog prefers to buy his tobacco from actual, artisan tobacconists.

But, because real tobacconists have become more scarce than liberal Republicans, he often buys his tobacco at CVS.

So, this news kind of bums me out.

But, whatever.

*End Multiple Disclosures*

CVS is a free market business. They have every right to decide to not sell a product.

Who could possibly argue with that? You ask.

How about those free market, freedom warriors over at Fox "News?" I answer.

"Fox & Friends" Gretchen Carlson wonders if it is even legal for a business to decide to not sell a product.

Because "freedom" and "liberals" and, presumably "Obama."

This video clip is longer than it really needs to be, but features commentary by the brilliant Sam Seder, so go with it.

You see, the same folks who vehemently oppose the legal smoking of that other evil weed, really, really want to protect my right to feed my nicotine addiction from any retailer I choose.

Because, again, "freedom."

As far as your Blog is concerned, I respect CVS' decision.

By Halloween of this year, I will have to buy my tobacco elsewhere.

The PC is okay with that.

Maybe I will have to make the drive to one of the two Tinder Boxes in the 50 mile radius of my home, more often.

Maybe I will have to go to Wallgreens.

Or, maybe I will have to quit smoking.

Yeah. That's not going to happen.

Now... the Fox meltdown aside...

The Blog would hate to ever be accused of cynicism...

*pause for laughter*

Your PC assumes that he will still be able to buy his moderately priced scotch from CVS.

And, with prescription in hand, he will still be able to buy Mrs. Blog's pharmaceutical grade rat poison (warfarin, aka: Coumadin™) from the pharmacy.

And, El Rushbo will still be able to acquire his synthetic heroin (Oxycotin™) from his local CVS.

For that matter, nicotine will still be available, over the counter, in the form of NicoDerm™ pills, gum and patches.

Which brings to mind one of The Blog's most favoritest scenes from...

                                                                      House, MD

A mall Santa visits the clinic, complaining of diarrhea attacks. 

Dr. House diagnoses him with diverticulitis and prescribes smoking two cigarettes a day, because nicotine suppresses the symptoms.

Santa asks, "Isn't that dangerous?"

House replies, "Pretty much everything we prescribe is dangerous."
 The PC doesn't know if CVS is a publicly traded company.

But, it is reported that their tobacco ban will cost the company about 2 billion dollars in profits each year for the next few years.

If The PC had any stock in CVS, I think that I would be looking to sell, like, yesterday.

And that is all I have to say about that.

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