Saturday, December 21, 2013

Go Duck Yourself, Pt.2: Duck Soup

I don't know about y'all, but your Uncle PC is already sick of this yahoo.

So, I'm going to post my thoughts about this here and now, and, barring any future fuckery, will not speak of him again.

I've never watched "Duck Dynasty."

But, being in the business of show, I am aware enough of the show and it's themes to get what it's about.

Frankly, it pisses me off that some portion of my brain is currently occupied by knowing anything about another goddamned bunch of "reality" show people who have become famous for being famous.

48 hours ago, I didn't even know this guy's name.

48 hours later, I know his name and more about him and his family than I ever wanted to know.

"Duck Commander" Phil Robertson and his religion and other prejudices are, currently, crowding out far more culturally important matters from my brain.

                                                                   Like the Kardashians.

So, Phil gave an interview to GQ magazine that has raised a whole lot of questions.

Questions like, "Why the actual fuck is GQ interviewing Phil Robertson?"

Phil said some things that riled some people up.

For dramatic purposes, let's work our way backwards.

The millionaire duck call mogul and patriarch of the Robertson family wants you to know that he is filled with love and respect for all humanity.

Following up, he told GQ...
“We never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?”
Homosexuals = drunks = terrorists.

Can you feel the Christian love? 
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers -- they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”
Nope. No judgment here.

More love and respect can be heard in this video from a 2010 sermon at a Pennsylvania church dinner.
"Women with women, men with men, they committed indecent acts with one another, and they received in themselves the due penalty for their perversions. They're full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant, God-haters. They are heartless, they are faithless, they are senseless, they are ruthless. They invent ways of doing evil. That's what you have 235 years, roughly, after your forefathers founded the country. So what are you gonna do Pennsylvania? Just run with them? You're going to die. Don't forget that."
Warms the heart, does it not? 

Not content with not judging the homosexuals, he then downshifted to, not overtly hateful, but certainly tone-deaf, blindered denial of the condition of life in America for "the blacks" in the Jim Crow days before the civil rights movement.
“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field. They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’ – not a word! … Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”
See? There you go!

"The blacks" were "happy," "godly," "singing," (but not singing the blues, oh no. Evidently, the blues weren't invented, by black Americans, until after entitlements and welfare.)

Presumably, they were tap-dancing, as well.

But, "the blacks" were happy. Because, as the old argument goes, "At least they weren't in Africa being eaten by lions."

So, Phil's TV network has suspended him, indefinitely.

                                                      And everyone loses their minds.

The right-wing Constitutional scholars...

                                                                         Like Sarah...

Got all poutraged, because First Ammendment Freedom of Speech.

Sarah and other Phil apologists had other thoughts...

When was it?

A whole week ago?

When they were calling for Martin Bashir's head on a pike.

Lest we forget, these same people were, not so many years ago...

Fueling bonfires with...

                                                                Dixie Chicks CDs.

Moving to the other side...

Here are three facts that you should know...

Here is a #4 that the above meme missed...

As has been established, here and in past posts...

The PC comes to you from deep inside the television industry.

So, The PC knows stuff.

When Duck Commander and company signed on with A&E, they signed a whole lot of paper intensive contracts.

The Blog guarantees that one of those papers had a thing or two to say about the signatory's promise to not say anything that might damage the network's brand.

Not a First Ammendment issue.

A contractual agreement between a private employer and employee.

"Loose lips" and such shit. You dig?

"Commander" Phil breeched that contract.

You don't need a law degree to understand that.

A regular "Judge Judy" viewer should get it.

Something is up when the "Cracker Barrel" restaurant  chain steps away from the "DD" brand.


The above link will take you to a virulently right-wing opinion site. Click at your own risk.

And here is a weather report from Hell...

"A high of 31 degrees, today..."

Because The Blog is in full agreement with Bill O'Reily.

Even a broken clock is right, twice a day.

Moving on...

It has been suggested that the whole Robertson brand is fake.

A scam, calculated to appeal to a certain demographic.

Can it be true?


                                             The family's kids before the show and during.

                                                        Phil himself in his college days.

Did every male member of the Robertson clan lose their minds and their razors at the same time?

Or, are they just another bunch of pseudo-Christian, pseudo-redneck actors/grifters, working their base demo for fun and profit?

The Blog reports.

You decide.


The way out of the closet George "Mr. Sulu" Takei won the internet, last night, with this Facebook post...
"Many fans asked for my thoughts on the "Duck Dynasty" controversy. They pressed and pressed, but I refused to quack.

But I can't duck this issue forever. I don't really care feather someone on a reality show said something about gays that didn't fit the bill. He's entitled to his opinion, even if it's for the birds. But the network also is worried about flocking with its base, so if it feels it should drake him over the coals for making his fowl comments, so be it.

So that's migrate opinion."

That's enough.

I'm spent. 

Can we all go back to feeling superior to the "Honey Boo Boo" family, now?

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