Monday, December 2, 2013

The War on Christmas: Canine Edition

So, I spent most of my day preparing the front yard in order to put up Christmas decorations in a couple of days.

I should explain to all my non-SoCal bloglitts that "preparing" consists of mowing the lawn, pulling weeds, trimming the hedges and cutting back rose bushes.

All those things that everyone associates with...


Oh, and add "booking a tree service to clean up the palm trees."

Ours is a smallish front yard, surrounded by a chain-link fence (it came with the house) hidden by morning glory vines. (I added those.)

Some years ago, The BlogDog cleared a beagle size "window" in the far front corner of the fence. The better to keep an eye on the neighborhood and protect our property from invading skateboarders, little old ladies and UPS trucks.

For most of the morning, while I worked, the dog stationed herself at the "window," and, for about 20 minutes out of every half hour, barked her damned fool head off, at, apparently, nothing.

I mean, she just went nuts.

Eventually, I decided to try to figure out what had her so riled.

I went to her "window," got down on my knees and took a good, dog's eye view of the scene.

And there they were.

Three strangers loitering on my neighbor's lawn.

The BlogDog is very suspicious of strangers.

With exasperated realization, I put the dog on her leash and walked her next door.

As we approached the trio of trespassers, she took that defensive, three-legged crouch that dog's do. She let out a low growl.

I coaxed her toward the interlopers.

She sniffed.

And sniffed.

And, sniffed.

And then she said, "Whuff."

Which is dog for, "Huh!"

We returned home and I went back to work.

The BlogDog spent the rest of the day relaxing in the wintery, 75 degree sun, occasionally returning to her "window" to remind the neighbor's visitors that she had her eye on them.

So, meet the trio of strangers that had The BlogDog on "High Alert..."

                                                     Not my neighbor's actual Nativity scene, but one just like it.                                 _______________________________________________

More news from the front...

Alaska's half-term governor Sarah Palin, in one more attempt to stay relevant, stormed the beaches last week with her newest book...

"Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas"

The Quitter@Twitter's volley in the battle debuted on Amazon around #450, last week. As of this writing, it has dropped to #660.

Leave it to Sarah to lose a battle in a war that doesn't exist.

(Go check out the Amazon listing. The reviews are priceless.)


Not to be deterred, culture warrior, Gen. Bill O'Reilly, not 8 months after declaring victory in "The War on Christmas," before launching the sequel, "The War on Easter," has donned his festive tin-foil battle helmet and is promoting his upcoming Fox "News" "investigation..."

"Christmas Under Attack!!!!!!"

Because nothing celebrates the "reason for the season" like a heaping helping of cultural victimhood.

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