As your old Uncle PC types these very words, the clock on my Mac tells me that it is 8:53 PM PST. By the time this is posted, the big ball will have already dropped in Times Square and it will have been 2014 in the eastern time zone of America for more than an hour.
And I, your humble Blog, am celebrating the eve of the new year in much the same way that I have for the last few years.
The house is, mostly, dark.
A gigantic pot of turkey soup containing the remains of the Christmas bird is simmering on the stove.
Mrs. Blog has long gone to bed. (Chronic illness and dialysis makes partying difficult.) The BlogDog is curled up at her feet.
And I, Your Blog, sit in the cool glow of my monitor, nursing a scotch, smoking a pipe, wondering what I should write about the year that is, just now, ending.
Looking for inspiration, I went into the archives to see what I said 365 days ago.
Damn! It was good.
How am I supposed to top that?
The answer has come to me.
A little cut and paste. A few edits. A few comments. And we are all set.
"Drive-in Movie Critic" and satirist Joe Bob Briggs once said...
"If you're gonna make a sequel, make the same damned movie!"
You can read the original 2012 post here.
So, here we go...
"The Blog would love to write a truly curmudgeonly post about the artifice of time and our need to mark the passing of the solar year as the end of all things that sucked and a new and, presumably better 365 days ahead."At this point, last year, I mentioned the "cluster fuck" that was 2012.
"He would love to snark about the fact that so many will spend this evening working their way toward beginning the new year with a massive hangover and how that is probably not the best way to get a better new year started."
I want to attempt to recreate that for 2013, but, holy shit! So much craziness, I don't know if I can remember it all.
A black teen, wearing a hoodie and armed with an Arizona™ Iced Tea and a bag of Skittles™ was shot to death by a vigilante with anger management issues and delusions of mediocrity. The vigilante walked free but keeps turning up, like a bad penny.
A year after the largest mass shooting in U.S. history has passed and nothing has been done about our country's gun problem.
A former car thief and alleged arsonist leads Congressional investigations of a string of phony scandals.
Sarah Palin has not gone away.
Congressional Republicans hold 49 votes to repeal the Affordable Care Act. Fail 49 times. Does nothing about jobs.
Sen. Ted Cruz reads "Green Eggs and Ham" on the floor of The House. Completely misses the point.
America closes for business for over a month.
Healthcare.gov opens with glitches. Republicans freak.
Windows 8 debuts. Republicans don't freak.
All that batshit happened in the last 365 days.
Probably more, but my head is starting to hurt.
It wasn't all bad.
As of tomorrow, millions will have health insurance for the first time in their lives.
Michelle Bachman is retiring.
Several more states have recognized all American citizens right to marry, regardless of sexual orientation.
Hostess™ has risen from the ashes. The Blog recognizes this, but will not celebrate it, until they bring back his beloved "Sno-Balls™."
Tomorrow, New Year's Day 2014, because the weather has been so beautiful, (insert your own global warming comment, here...) Mrs. Blog and I may be starting a new New Year's Day tradition. We will be spending the morning on a boat off the coast of California, whale watching.
*Back to self plagiarism*
"He could mention that there is no evidence to suggest that anything is going to get better in the new year.One really important note...
But, DAMMIT, he just can't do it.
The PC is as hard wired as everyone else is to, if not believe, at least hope, that
20132014 will be a better year than 20122013 was.
Whatever other resolutions we all make for the new year, that we probably will give up on in a week or so, (The PC MUST lose weight in the coming year. And a lot of it! We'll see. The fact that he can no longer get his hands on Hostess Sno-Balls [still] might just help.)
Can you, my blogglitts, resolve, along with me, to do something, anything, to make the year 2013 a better year than last year?
Can we all make this our one, unbreakable resolution?"
2014 is a "mid-term" election year. Too many people tend to sit mid-term elections out. Don't do it. The PC is begging you! The PC will remind you about this, constantly, for the next 11 months. VOTE! If you aren't registered, do so, now. If your state requires an I.D., make sure you have one. If you need a ride to your polling place, ask a friend. But, you MUST vote in 2014. I cannot stress this enough.
Wrapping it up in the same manner as last year...
"Make it so!"
The Premature Curmudgeon is exactly one month away from the second anniversary of The Blog's first blog and seven posts away from his 500th post.
So, in an attempt to make the two milestones coincide...
The Blog is going to throttle his posting to one or two posts a week for the next month.
Let's see how that works out.
In the meantime...
Here is another pic of Kate Upton in a bikini...