Monday, June 3, 2013

[Ba] Zynga!

There are a whole lot of things that The Blog has learned from being on Facebook for the last few years.



The PC was a late adapter to the world of Facebook. Just like he was a late adapter to cell phones, the iPod, email, DVRs, HDTV and well, blogging.

The PC is not a techno-phobic philistine. Far from it. The Blog loves his tech. He just likes to sit back and let others work out the bugs in the early versions of pretty much everything.

For the record, The PC has a MySpace page that he doesn't know how to access, or why he should. And I still haven't figured out what the fuck I'm supposed to do with Linked In, even though I still keep accepting requests.

I also don't use Twitter, (Because, Jesus Harold Christ, I get into enough trouble on Facebook and the blog, where I have time to self-edit,) or Instagram, (Twitter for illiterates,) or Pintrest or Reddit, (Because, I just don't get those.)

The Blog resisted Facebook until an actress friend told me, "It's the tool of Satan. But, you have to do it."

*End Digression*


The Blog has spent several weeks compiling a list of everything that Facebook has taught him, And I will post that, soon.

*Sneak Peek*

"Never 'Like' your own status posts. It makes you look like a self-absorbed douche-nozzle."

But, there has been some news today that has brought one nagging question to the front of The Blog's noggin.

Zynga Has a Very Bad Day

Did you read the story.

Okay. Good.

Now I can get to the point.

One thing that I have learned about some of my friends and family, via Facebook, is this...

They have a disturbing amount of concern for the goings on regarding a Zynga produced game called...


Either they have wayyyy too much time on their hands, or they are abdicating day to day responsibilities in favor of maintaining an imaginary cyber-world, like a meth addict.

The Blog sort of gets it.

The Blog lived through the 1990s.

He owned a Tamagotchi for about two weeks.

** Tamagotchi. A pretend, electronic, digital "pet" that had to be fed and nurtured regularly, regardless of what real life was going on at the time. And, I swear I am not making this up, could (and in The Blog's case, did) die from a poor hygiene related illness, if you neglected to, regularly, clean up it's cyber-shit. **

Where was I?

Oh, yeah.

The Blog gets playing games online.

It's a great way to pass the time, during life's lulls.

 The PC admits to a mild addiction to "Plants vs. Zombies" on his iPhone™.

He is also one of the last six people on Earth who still plays "Draw Something."

And, he is still working his way through the original "Angry Birds."

Still gunning for the perfect game.

(So, for the love of God, stop trying to shove "Angry Birds: Star Wars" down my throat! Leave me alone!)

Wait. What?

Oh, right.

Here is my original point...

My friends who play Farmville (or any of Zynga's other "Ville" games) seem to spend less time in actual game play than they spend complaining on Facebook about the game's seemingly, never ending glitches and lack of customer service.

The PC is sort of convinced that the Zynga games don't actually exist.

Just an evil experiment in behavioral control by a malevolent alien race, (The Zynganians,) to determine the human race's threshold for abusive bullshit.

So, The PC concludes, based on the above story link, that the experiment is, gradually, coming to an end.

So, rise up my friends.

Stand tall against the evil Zynganian's attempt to dominate humanity.

Be strong!

(And come look for me on "Draw Something.") 



So far, no one has posted their theories about how last night's "Escherian Stairwell" works.

I have the answer.

But, I'm not going to share it until someone makes the effort to work it out for themselves.

Come on, people!

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