Saturday, June 8, 2013

More Satire Resistant Absurdities

Most of tonight's post could be subtitled...

"What the Fuck, Texas?"

First up...

Texas Republican Congress-critters John Culberson and John Carter are working hard to protect us from an organization that doesn't exist.

Excerpted from

This week, the House will vote on a government funding bill, which was inserted by Rep. John Culberson (R-TX): “None of the funds made available in this Act may be distributed to the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) or its subsidiaries or successors.”

Just to be safe, Rep. John Carter (R-TX) put forward a bill the next day that would extend the funding ban to “any prior appropriations Act.”

If this seems odd, it’s because killing ACORN is one of few things that congressional Republicans have actually accomplished. Congress banned federal funding for ACORN in 2009, causing the community organizing organization to go bankrupt and shut down in 2010.

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) had the best response to the bill, asking “Is it too late to defund Saddam Hussein?”


 Cathie Adams, former chairman of the Texas Republican Party and current Tea Bag darling, picked up the batshit that was dropped by Michelle Bachmann, and went after right-wing icon Grover Norquist.

That's right!

Grover Fucking Norquist.

*The Blog believes that "Fucking" is actually Grover Norquist's legal, middle name. But, The Blog could be mistaken.*

(The Blog may have posted something about this, earlier this week. It seems familiar. But, it bares repeating,) 

Also from

Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) may be on her way out of Congress, but thanks to Tea Party leaders like Cathie Adams, her most ridiculous conspiracy theories will live on.

During a Tea Party event late last week, Adams — a former Chairman of the Texas Republican Party — shared her definitive proof that Bachmann is right, and Grover Norquist is actually complicit in a “stealth jihad” against the U.S.

“He’s married a Muslim woman,” Adams continued. “But he denies that he has converted himself. He denies that.”

“As you see, he has a beard,” Adams said. Case closed.

Grover has a "beard" alright.

And, she's a Muslim woman.


(The PC has no facts to back up his innuendo. And he should be ashamed of himself for going there.

But, he isn't, much.)

Back to Ms. Adams' comments...

“Thank God Ted Cruz is now in the United States Senate!” she declared.


*As much as The PC hates to direct traffic to a site like "Americans for Tax Reform," you really need to go check it out, for the headline, alone. Evidently, hiring a proof-reader is stealing hard earned money from the ATR's members.*

Next up...

Texas Man Acquitted of Murder of Escort

A Texas man has been acquitted of murder after shooting and killing a Craigslist escort, (there is no dispute that he did shoot and kill her,) because, after he paid her a whopping $150, she gave him a lap dance, then left without letting him fuck  her.

Because, apparently, that's Texas.

I swear I am not making this up.

Okay. Enough picking on Texas...

Let's move farther south, to Bolivia, where vigilante justice must look something like...


Bolivian Suspect Buried Alive

(The Blog is pulling links to stories, here, kind of randomly. In the story linked here, two suspects have been arrested. But, according to multiple sources, most of the population of the town was involved. Google it for yourselves.)

Speaking of vigilantes...

Back to America...

If any state rivals Texas for crazy, it's Florida.

                  And, when we are talking Florida crazy, we are talking George Zimmerman.

Zimmerman's trial for the murder of the black kid, armed with a bag of Skittles and an Arizona Iced Tea, Trayvon Martin, hasn't even begun and things are not looking good for our man George.

As voice analysts, today, declared that there is no way the screams heard on the 911 recordings belonged to Zimmerman, as his defense has claimed...

George's defense has filed a motion, requesting that certain words be disallowed during the trial.

Seriously, click on the link and read the story.

Save your Uncle PC the redundancy of repeating the request here.


Zimmerman's defense has taken a position that is too silly work in "My Cousin Vinny: Part II."

"George," they say. "We got it covered. If we can get the judge to rule that the prosecution can't, actually, accuse you of anything, you're home free!"

Yeah. That's going to happen.

The Blog would actually tune in to HLN to see this trial go down.

This is going to be entertaining.


Shit went down in Santa Monica, today.

(Nothing funny from this point on. The mass shootings in Santa Monica, are nothing but horrific and tragic.)

Six dead, at least five injured. Plus, one dead nutzoid shooter.

Details are still sketchy, at this time.

The Blog will withhold comment until more is known.

Except for this...

It is a fact that the shootings occurred mere blocks from the President's Santa Monica appearances.

As The PC writes this, he is sure that tin-foil ass-hat, Alex Jones is, at this moment, throwing the "false flag" flag, and floating some crazy ass conspiracy theory about the incident.

We will catch up with that tomorrow night.

See you then.

No comments:

Post a Comment